Vol. 2-Best Of Twisted Tunes 專輯歌詞 Bob Rivers ※ Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網
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魔鏡歌詞網歐美歌手Bob RiversVol. 2-Best Of Twisted Tunes

Bob Rivers


全碟歌詞
專輯列表
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【 Vol. 2-Best Of Twisted Tunes 】【 英文 】【 1997 】

1.What If God Smoked Cannabis?
2.Beat Up Old Jetliner
3.Getting Fatter All The Time
4.Hello, I Love You (Lets get tested for AIDS)
5.I'm A Weight Watcher
6.I Used To Rock And Roll All Night
7.Wrong Foot Amputated



1.What If God Smoked Cannabis? (修改)

Rivers Bob
Miscellaneous
What If God Smoked Cannabis?
If God had long hair
And a goatee,
And if his eyes looked pretty glazed...
If He looked spaced out
Would you buy his story?
Would you believe he had an eye infection?

And yeah, yeah, God he looks baked
And yeah, yeah, God He smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...

What if God smoked cannabis?
Hit the bung like some of us?
Drove a tie-dyed microbus,
And he subscribed to Rolling Stone?

When God made this place,
In the beginning,
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Did He plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve,
So they'd be hungry for the apple that the snake
Was always offering?

And yeah, yeah... God rolls great,
And yeah, yeah, God he smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...

What if God smoked cannabis?
Do you suppose he had a buzz
When he made the platypus
When he created earth, our home?
Does He like Pearl Jam or the Stones?
And do you think He rolls His own
Up there in heaven on the throne?

And when the saints go marching home,
Does he just sit and smoke a bone?




2.Beat Up Old Jetliner (修改)

Goodbye to all my friends I've known
And the travel agent I trusted.
I'm riding along on this beat-up old plane;
Look out the window. All the rivets are rusted.

As that ground crew pushes us backwards
On that rickety L-1011,
I'm feeling around for that flotation device,
And when the safety film is shown,
I'm payin' close attention.

Beat-up old jetliner,
Hope you got a tune-up today.
Ohhhh, beat-up old jetliner,
Did they sneak you past the FAA?

Bouncin' 'round in a thunder cloud,
Landing gear won't come down.
My seatback is up and my belt is on.
I see the fire crews sprayin' foam on the ground.

And if I get to my final destination,
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I know the next flight will surely be free.
But I don't think I'll go back up
Into that piece of shit just to save a few pennies.

Beat-up old jetliner
Won't carry me too far today.
Ohhhh, give me a fresh airliner;
I don't care what I've got to pay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Beat-up old jetliner,
Don't carry me too far today.
Ohhhh, beat-up old jetliner,
'Cause it's home that I'd rather stay.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
I've just turned off the no-smokin' sign.
I figure, hell, if the plane's smokin' why shouldn't you.

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3.Getting Fatter All The Time (修改)

I'm getting fatter all the time.
I used to be size 32 and I never gave.
My jeans used to fit, I looked cool.
Now I'm not the same.
Put on a few pounds, my shape's getting round.
And lately I can't see my shoes.

I hate to admit, but I'm getting fatter, fatter,
A little fatter all the time.
I can't lose no weight.
Yes, I admit I'm getting fatter, fatter, I'm getting fatter.

I love to dine. That meat's pretty cruel to my waistline.
I'm driving a steak through my heart
Eating things that I love.
Man, I was lean but I dug french cuisine.
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Now I'm big as the Michelin Man.

I admit I'm getting fatter, fatter,
I'm getting fatter all the time.
I can't skip desert. Now, I don't dare get on a ladder.
Fatter, I'm getting fatter.

It ain't no crime getting so much fatter all the time.
I'm getting fatter all the time.
Fatter, fatter, fatter.

I'm getting fatter all the time.
Fatter, fatter, fatter.
Getting so much fatter all the time.




4.Hello, I Love You (Lets get tested for AIDS) (修改)

Hello I love you
Lets get tested for AIDS
You know I trust you
But you can't tell these days
Hello I love you
Lets get tested for AIDS
You know I want you
But let's wait a few days

She might look nice and sweet
But sleeps with every guy she meets
You might think you know some guy
But you know guys and they always lie

Hello I love you
Lets get tested for AIDS
You know I trust you
But you can't tell these days
Hello I love you
And liked to get laid
You know I want you
But I'm deathly afraid

She holds my hand and sighs
But her hand won't satisfy
Our thoughts are wicked
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But our legs are crossed
And I doubt I can hold out too long

The doc won't know for at least a week
I'm like a dog locked up when my mate's in heat
And I hope she doesn't see me drool
Cuz I hope to use my rusty tool

Hello, hello
Hello, hello
Hello, hello

'Uh, Hullo? '

'Good news Mr. Johnson, your test results are in and you're back in business.'

'Yippee! Yahoo! Yahooie! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! whoo! '

I need my baby now
Let's go
Hello, hello
Hello, hello
The lizard king is back

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5.I'm A Weight Watcher (修改)

I'm a Weight Watcher,
I'm a Weight Watcher,
Watchin' food go by.
My, my, my.

I'm a Weight Watcher,
I'm a plate watcher.
Here comes a cream pie
Mmmm, mmm, mmm.

I was just a boy
When I tried to eat my toy.
Couldn't reacy my toes
To put my shoes on.

But now I'm 28,
I'm big, fat, and overweight.
I've got a new pastime to chew on.

I'm a Weight Watcher,
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I'm a plate watcher.
Watchin' food go by,
My, my, my.

Plate of cheese nachos.
I gotta watch those.
Here come some now.
Mmm, mm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Oh, no, none for me, thanks.
Watchin' my figure.
Oh, they look delicious.
No, no, no, no.

Oh, they smell good, too.
mmm...I shouldn't, I really shouldn't.
You make these yourself?
Well, maybe just two.




6.I Used To Rock And Roll All Night (修改)

You loved us when the band was hot.
And now we're gonna give it one more shot.
We're gettin' old,
We must be crazy.

We're puttin' on the makeup again.
It covers up a buncha wrinkled skin.
You bring the bread,
We'll make the gravy.

You keep on spendin',
We'll keep on singin.

I used to rock and roll all night
But now my hair's turning gray.
I have to get to bed by nine,
Rub on a tube of Ben-Gay.

Haven't picked up my guitar for a while,
Not since them hula-hoops went outta style.
It's been a while,
I'm pretty rusty.
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We'll give you everything we got.
Would you like to see my liver spots?
Can you drive us home if we get sleepy?
If the shirts keep on sellin',
We'll keep on yellin'

I used to rock and roll all night
But now my hair's turning gray.
I have to get to bed by nine,
Rub in a tube of Ben-Gay.

I wanna rock and roll all night
But I can't stay awake
I'd like to rock and roll all night
But then my body would ache.
I'll try to rock and roll all night,
If there's some dough to be made
I wanna rock and roll all night,
But I get drowsy by eight.

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7.Wrong Foot Amputated (修改)

Wrong foot amputated
Wrong foot amputated
He got the wrong foot amputated

The doctor had compassion he tried to cure my disease
I was sweating on the way to the op room gave me sedatives to put me at ease

They put me on a gurney in a hospital gown
They gave me anesthetic and they set my legs down
'You won't fell a thing' is what the doctor told me
'We're gonna whack it off, whack it off, whack it off, whack it off'
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Hey man you must be kidding me, take a look
He got the wrong foot amputated
Hey you should have cut the other knee, take a bow
He got the wrong foot amputated

Hey that leg was mine, you mean to tell me that this stuff happens all the time
Hey this ain't my day