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Hindsight
Better part of me knew that I could never become the better man I wanted to see
the other part of me clinging to hope and hoping to faith as though it mattered to me
but the faith that I had is the anchor attached to the rope that I sowed that I held in my hand
then it dragged me into the abyss that is this
I'm afraid that I may be in way over my head
I shoulda known better
I shoulda known better
they tell me everything happens for a reason all I needed was to try and believe
I guess it never occurred to me a person behind the curtain could be pulling the strings
but the fact is I asked them for help when I fell to my knees and I begged and I pleaded and I needed
you only worked I'm alone and I'm hurt and afraid that I may be in way over my head
I shoulda known better
I shoulda known better
I shoulda known better
I shoulda known, I shoulda known.
even if I ever cared a little bit I couldn't admit it
it wasn't even a decision that I wanted to make
it was all a mistake no one could ever see me getting better
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if I ever made an effort to change
what I am
and god damn
what I am is a broken man
so I throw my hands up and stand
...with the shoulda coulda woulda
like I shoulda went to college
and I coulda got a job
and then I woulda put a little money in the bank
but the boat that I built is the boat that I sank
and it's gone
the choices I made are the reasons I love and the reasons I hate
and the reasons I do what I do
and I'm doing my best everyday
I shoulda known better
I shoulda known better
I shoulda known better
I shoulda known, I shoulda known.
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