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Ben Colder



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Ben Colder

Harper Valley P.T.A. (Later That Same Day)

I wanna tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widowed wife,
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High,
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play,
And she said.'Mom I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA.'

Well the note said, 'Mrs. Johnson,
you're wearing your dresses way too high.
It's reported you've been drinkin' and runnin' round
with men and goin' wild.
And we don't believe you oughta be a bringin' up your
little girl this way.'
And it was signed by the secretary, 'Harper Valley PTA.'

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.
And they were sure surprised when Mrs.
Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.
And as she walked up to the black board,
I still recall the words she had to say.
She said I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA.

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there,
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and seven tims he's asked me for a date.
And Mrs. Taylor seems to use a lotta ice, whenever he's away.
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep her window
shades a pulled completely down.

Well Mr. Harper couldn't be here cause he stayed too
long at Kelly's Bar again.
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find
she's had a little nip of gin.
And then you have the nerve to tell me,
you think that as a mother I'm not fit.
Well this is just a little Peyton Place,
and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites.

No, I wouldn't put you on because, it really did happen just this way.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA