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Capitol Steps

Loonies Of The Right

Hello, I'm Senator Dianne Feinstein! We are here tonight to discuss the new attorney general Senator John Ashcroft. Senator Kennedy would you like to make a statement?

Uh, well I would just like to say that I, uh...Well, that is, the women of America know that they have a friend in the senior Senator from Massaquitic, and, uh, Chapachusetts, uh...Now, we have noticed a certain pattern...

Uh, excuse me, thank you very much, Senator Kennedy. We will now hear a statement from the new attorney general John Ashcroft!

I see sins
I lend throughout the nation
Life begins
At Senate confirmation

Don't you love the right-wing fringe?
When we eat, our jaws unhinge
Now that I'm Attorney General, I might
Give power to the loonies of the right

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We prefer our ice hockey teams
With no left wing
If you jay-walk three times
Strike three, you're out

How we love every dying baby seal
In a cream sauce, it's a tasty little meal
I get vexed when two men are romancing
Don't like sex, 'cause sex can lead to dancing

Now I know you may have read
That I lost to someone dead
And my seat was taken by that dead man's wife
I guess that is the reason I'm pro-life