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Gwen Verdon



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Gwen Verdon

Erbie Fitch's Twitch

'Erbie Fitch is me name,
And I'm in rather a pickle
I must say through me shame,
I'm fickle!

Ipswitch, England's me home,
I married somethin' called Emma
One night I chanced to roam,
And roamed into a dilemma!

I've a bit of a twitch for a witch I met in Ipswitch
But the hitch is the Ipswitch witch which once I wed.
If I should unhitch the witch which I wed,
And switch to the witch what give me the twitch,
The witch which I ditch will pitch a rock at me head!
What a petunia!

Though I can't lose the itch, the itch for that witch in Ipswitch
The witch which I wed is richer than the witch to which I'm led
Now look, 'Erbie Fitch, you don't own a stitch
Don't switch to the witch what gave you that twitch
Which witch is not rich as the witch you wed instead.
Crawl into your niche
And take Mrs. Fitch
To bed!
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Then my Daddy went into his famous walk,

A sort of trademark, you might say.

Then my daddy used to pretend like someone in
the audience came in late. And he'd talk to them:
'WELL, bite my ear and call me a policeman, I saw you, madam!
Come in late, didn't ya? Well,
I'm gonna do me whole little ditty over again, just for you.
I gotta speed it up a bit, though.
They're rather fussy about the time here. I say, love,
I likes your face. She washes it! ...
she washes it... my daddy used to say lots of funny things like that.

Though I can't lose the itch, the itch for that witch in Ipswitch
The witch which I wed is richer than the witch to which I'm led
Now look, 'Erbie Fitch, you don't own a stitch
Don't switch to the witch what gave you that twitch
Which witch is not rich as the witch you wed instead.
Crawl into your niche
And take Mrs. Fitch
To bed!