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The Jazz Butcher



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The Jazz Butcher

The Best Way

sample:[Just keep punching, that's the thing to do.
Remember the words of the philosopher Ken Morgester, who once said 'Failure is not falling down, failure is staying down'. And that's a good thought for this day, or any day. Say, did you ever grab a wishbone and wish that the chicken you had just served had been tastier? Well that won't happen with Waybest chicken. Waybest is so superb you serve it with no regrets, no apologies. When you take a Waybest chicken from the oven golden-brown and mouth-watering to look at, you know it will delight everybody at the table.]

Down on the farm, where the chicken is.

Stuff 'em full of fishmeal, stick 'em in a box
Chop their silly heads off, watch 'em run around
You take out the feathers, throw away the beak
Put them in the freezer for a couple of weeks
And you cook 'em in an oven and you stick 'em on a plate
And you slaver and you wriggle and you say 'it looks great'
You make 'em into gravy, get it on your face
It's a shame and it's a disgrace

They eat chicken in the Balkans, chicken in Rome
I bet you even like to eat chicken at home
Chicken in Bolivia, chicken in Peru
I bet eating chicken is a thing you like to do

They get chicken in the Balkans, chicken in Rome
I bet you even like to eat chicken at home
There's chicken in Bolivia, chicken in Peru
Chicken in Kiev's a thing you shouldn't oughtta do

And there's chicken, McChicken, anywhere at all
And chicken's an atrocity, it's vile that's all
There's chicken in Detroit, in Washington Square
Chicken in the high street, chicken everywhere

Chicken on holiday, chicken in jail
Wake up in the morning, there's a chicken in the mail
There's chicken on holiday, chicken in jail
The cats get chicken from the garbage pail

You raise 'em, race 'em, misplace 'em, replace 'em,
You can boil it, or baste it,
Just make sure that you waste it

sample: [No regrets, no apologies... Just keep punching]

Prize turkeys!
I want to see the man in charge!

sample: [Just keep punching]

sample: [I don't want to kill 'em, I want the money]
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sample: [No regrets, no apologies]

sample: [I'm hypnotized]

sample: [I don't want to kill 'em, I want the money]

Which came first the chicken or the egg?
They get so damn crazy they eat their own legs (x6)

Stuff 'em full of fishmeal, put 'em on the table
Make 'em into gravy, get it on your shirt front (x3)

It's disgusting!
There's chicken on your shirt front, greasy and thick
Someone tell the manager the chicken is sick
The whole idea is sick. Have another drumstick.
Chicken in the basket is the ladies' pick
Sick!
Chicken in Camden, Paddington too
They even got chicken in the Regent Park Zoo
There's chicken in China, chicken in Nepal
Chicken over there dead hanging on the wall

There's chicken in Syria, Daar-es-Salaam
The whole population wants to do them harm
There's chicken in Dublin
Chicken in Spain
Chicken in the slaughterhouse
Chicken in the rain
There's chicken in the library and on TV
World-wide symbol of stupidity
But if you ask me, they never had the chance to start with.

Prize turkey's delight! (x2)
(Sung to the tune of the 60's/70's TV advert for 'Fry's Turkish Delight', as it goes.)

Now this is how you get a chicken hypnotized
You look the little motherfucker right in the eyes and say
'Chicken, you will obey'

Ah, they're laughing at the chickens, I can see them

*A mess of samples and scattered words*