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Why Do Fat Kids Like Metallica?

Fat kids need James Hetfield.
Fat kids need Lars Ulrich and Kirk Hammet.
Fat kids, they need Jason Newstead.
Cliff Burton is dead.

I had a friend, he was a heavy metal singer.
He did a good impersonation of Kip Winger.
And this guy, he was a very hefty fellow.
Ate cans of Crisco and washed it down with Mello-Yello

Why do fat Kids like Metallica?
Why do they, why do they?
Why do Fat Kids like Metallica?
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Why do Skinny pricks like Green Day?

Look at the fat kid with the Metallica shirt on.
I bet he wears a extra extra large.
But as for me my opinion is biased,
Cause I spend my time watching 'Charles in Charge'(Scott Baio)

James Hetfield, he used to be a really fat kid.
And then he started Metallica
So Jenny Craig you can burn in Hell.
With metal up your ass.