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Lazy Boy
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Underwear Goes Inside The Pants
作词：Jonathan Douglas, Greg Geraldo, Lasse Illington, Soren Rasted
Why is Marijuana not legal?
Why is Marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt
You know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons
That's not natural but we got pills for that
We're dedicating all our medical resources
To keeping the old guys erect
We're putting people in jail
For smoking something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now
Every commercial on TV is a prescription drug ad
I can't watch TV for four minutes
Without thinking I have five serious diseases
Like, 'Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?'
Oh my God, I have this, write this down, whatever it is, I have this
Half the time you don't even know what the commercial is
People running through fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean
Like that is the greatest disease ever, how do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy
The schools now, it's all about self esteem in the schools
Build the kids' self esteem, make them feel good about themselves
If everybody grows up with high self esteem
Who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees
It takes lots of drunk daddys, missing a lot of dance recitals
Before you decide to blow a goat on the Internet for fifty bucks
And if that disappears, where does that leave me
On a Friday with my new high speed connection?
Baby, sing sing sing, sing your song
Sing for me, come on now, sing
Sing sing sing, sing your song
Sing for me, sing sing sing
Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time
You keep hearing about these, these terrorists
Masterminds that are been killed in the Middle East
Terrorists masterminds, mastermind is sort of a lofty way
To describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds
'OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in backpack
Then you get on that bus and you blow yourself up'
'Why do I have to blow myself up? Why don't I just'
'Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?'
Americans, let's face it, we've been a spoiled country for a long time
You know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity, obesity, they say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic
An epidemic like it's polio, like we'll be telling
Our grand kids about it one day, 'The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004'
'How'd you get through it grandpa?' 'Oh, it was horrible, Johnny
There was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere'
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Nobody knows why we're getting fatter, look at our lifestyles
I'll sit at a drive-through, I'll sit there for
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up
And making an eight foot walk to the totally empty counter
Everything's mega-mealed, super-sized, 'Want
Biggie fries with that, want a jumbo-fry, wanna go large, want a
Biggie fry, wanna have thirty burgers for a nickel, you fat
Motherfucker? There's room in the bag, take it
Want a fifty-five gallon drum of coke with that?
It's only three more cents'
Baby, sing sing sing, sing your song
Sing for me, come on now, sing
Baby, sing sing sing, sing your song
Sing for me, sing sing sing
Sometimes you've gotta suffer a little in your youth to motivate you
To succeed later in life, you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school
You think there'd be a Microsoft? Of course not
You've got to spend a lot of time stuffed in your own locker
With your underwear wedged up your ass before you start thinking
'I'm gonna take over the world of computers, you'll see I'll show them'
We're in one of the richest countries in the world and the minimum
Wage is lower now than it was thirty-five years ago
There are homeless people everywhere, this homeless guy
Asked me for money the other day, I was about to give it to him
And I thought, he's just gonna use it on drugs or alcohol
And then I thought, that's what I'm gonna use it on
Why am I judging this poor bastard?
People love to judge homeless guys like
You give him the money and he's just gonna waste it
He's gonna waste the money
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do with it?
Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store
For a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless
I walked behind this guy the other day, a homeless guy
Asked him for money, he looks right at the homeless guy
He goes, 'Why don't you go out and get a job, you bum?'
People always say that to homeless guys, get a job
Like it's always that easy, this homeless guy was wearing
His underwear outside his pants
I'm guessing his resume ain't all up to date
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process
I'm pretty sure even McDonald's has an
'Underwear Goes Inside The Pants' policy
Not that they enforce it very strictly
But technically, I'm sure, it's on the books
Sing sing sing, sing your song
Sing for me, come on now, sing
Baby, sing sing sing, sing your song
Sing for me, sing sing sing
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