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亚当森德勒
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The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
'and now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.'
Dean：'well michael, i would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and i understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.'
Buffoon：'i got a snake, man!'
Dean: 'yes, pets are welcome here on campus. be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.'
Buffoon: 'one time i fed it some beer man! it was slithering this way and that! it was all fucked up!'
Dean: 'i'm sure it was. well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students and pets here on campus.'
Buffoon: 'fuckin' shit!'
Dean: 'yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy. so tell me a little bit more about your background.'
Buffoon: 'my father's a fucking asshole, man!'
Dean: 'hmm, i see. your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.'
Buffoon: 'my mother's a piece of shit too!'
Dean: 'well, i hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to learn.'
Buffoon: 'my teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man! she had her head way up her ass!'
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Dean: 'well the quality of the faculty at a university such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.'
Buffoon: 'your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!'
Dean: 'yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success.'
Buffoon: 'i had diarhea last month. i had to shit all fucking day!'
Dean: 'uh huh, well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a pleasurable experience. so have you given any thought to your choice of major?'
Buffoon: 'i've got a big fucking boner right now.'
Dean: 'i see. well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of nervous tension. i do not take offense.'
Buffoon: 'one time i ate my neighbors shit!'
Dean: 'that's understandable. well, i enjoyed meeting you. we'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.'
Buffoon: 'i bet you got really hairy balls.'
Dean: 'yes, it's a veritable forest down there. bye bye.'
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