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Decomposure



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Decomposure

A Test

I arrived at work some friday morning, early ohsix
plaided out and sleepmouthed, dragging dawn for my coffee fix

I confirmed indeed it was for real
everyone i told kept telling me this could be a big deal

But i was not convinced, i did not believe
boosting bright buy culture and selling sweatshop sweaters
seemed antithetical to my precious integrity
though intangibles aren't accepted by collection agencies...

Conflicted, i wrote back: i needed time,
i asked for the weekend to talk to my wife and make a decision
they said that's fine, but summer's coming,
soon we'll need the contract signed
i researched, i waffled, i justified
the money - so soothing - made it all right
like a tetherball, i was drawn to the green light
i'd be crazy not to, fame is waiting
just like
moby wrote those essays but had no such qualms
when ad firms signed the cheques not everything was wrong
k'naan cut the poor to wave the flag for coke
nike made sure saul won't live hand to mouth no more
m.i.a. led a coup for honda's coupe si
feist counted as apple's chinese workers died
it's worthless without a price,
whatever you have inside, you're
going to have to monetize it

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A man without a code
is a flimsy tent that folds
when a strong wind starts to blow
monday i awoke
and i said yes

* * *

I never heard from them again.
and so my big break came and went,
untangling the knot inside my chest
though i'd still feel awful whenever people asked.
sometimes i think the whole thing was
a test devised in shadows by some dark controlling class
to expose how small a sum it took to make me dance
and pass around the transcripts at their gatherings and laugh
about how easily i sold my soul to hold a cheque i could not cash

So i slunk back to my high horse, still in debt
my songs circled like birds and taunted me
i'd like to think i learned something from that
when i saw myself undressed, and didn't know the person underneath

* * *

I was working overtime
when the call came down the line
they said that my home was on fire