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Mary Martin
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I Put My Hand In
Call on Dolly!
She's the one the spinsters recommend
Just name that kind of man your sister wants
And she'll snatch them up
Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts and
She'll match 'em up.
Call on Dolly!
If your eldest daughter needs a friend
Ambrose Kemper:
Tell me Mrs. Levi, what's in all this for you?
A living, Mr. Kemper. Some people paint, some sew
I meddle!
I have always been a woman who arranges things
For the pleasure and the profit it derives
I have always been a woman who arranges things
Like furniture and daffodils and lives
When a man with a timid tongue
Meets a girl with a diffident air
Why should the tortured creatures beat around the bush
When heaven knows mother nature always needs a little push
So I put my hand in here
I put my hand in there
And a girl over 6 foot 3
Loves a man who comes up to her ear
Surely it's obvious she'll never be seduced
'Til some kind soul condescends
To give her beau a little boost
So I put my hand in there
I put my hand in here
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I have always been a woman who arranges things
It's my duty to assist the Lord above
I have always been a woman who arranges things
Like luncheon parties, poker games, and love
My aplomb at cosmetic art
Turned a frump to a trump lady fair
She had a countenance a little bit like scrooge
But oh today you would swear the Lord himself applied the rouge
When I put my hand in here
I put my hand in there!
I put my hand in here
I twist a little, stir a little
Him a little, her a little
Shape a little, mold a little
Some poor chap gets sold a little
When I use my fist a little
Some young bride gets kissed a little
Pressure with the thumbs
Matrimony comes
When, I put my hand in there
For when my little pink wiggles
Some young maiden gets the giggles
Then I make my knuckles active
'My,' he says, 'she's so attractive'
Then I move my index digit
And they both begin to fidget
Then I clench my palm
The preacher reads a psalm
When I put my hand in there!
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