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Loudon Wainwright III
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Good Ship Venus
On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's penis
The captain's name was Lugger
By Christ he was a bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one ship to another
And the second mate was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The third mate's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the captain's organ
The captain's wife was Mabel
And by God was she able
To give the crew their daily screw
Upon the galley table
The captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night were lily white
By morning they were scarlet
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The cabin boy was Kipper
By Christ he was a nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
The captain's lovely daughter
Liked swimming in the water
Delighted squeals came when some eels
Found her sexual quarters
The cook his name was Freeman
And he was a dirty demon
And he fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen
And the ship's dog was called Rover
And we turned the poor thing over
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover
When we reached our station
Through skillful navigation
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk
From too much fornication
On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's penis
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