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Schaffer the Darklord
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The Tin Man
I AM THE TIN MAN
For a hundred years he rested here rusted shut and so dormant
In a little lost corner where no one strolls in the soul of this horrible forest
For a little lass snatched from Kansas snatched by tornado came forward
Poured a little drop of oil on his joints she heard his voice time for performance
He did rise
And strained open his eyes
And lowered his ax to his side
It was still raised high to the sky
Twisted his back 'till it cracked
Wiggled his little fingers just a bit with a stretch
and sneezed at the face of the girl
Then grabbed that little hick by the neck and said
I am the tin man who the hell are you
Do you know how badly your blood will clash with that shade of blue
Has no one clued you in that in this land there is no scarier
Answer me or so help me I will crush that fucking terrier
Then this clumsy fuck with which she was traveling
Came to recall tried to get a ball but was all falling down and raveling
Tin man pinned him up to a tree with his free hand and explained
Are you really gonna fuck with me scarecrow do you have no brain
Both of 'em were cryin' by this time and how he loved it.
'I will go with you to the city but to me your silly little lives mean nothing.
You can die right here and I fear you will hear no tickin' in this chest!
And I'll bet you never guessed that my ex is the Wicked Bitch of the West!'
Here comes the Tin Man! (Tin Man!)
And he will hack you apart
His skin is made of metal and he has no heart
He needs oil(Oil) His body is so cold and so hollow
A Blood bath down the yellow path that he follows
Here comes the Tin Man (Tin Man!)
Peak in his ball bearing eyes, find an empty stare it's icy as his iron side hide
He's kinda like a robot with no wires inside
A heavy metal lumberjack, never have a heart attack, never gonna die!
They traveled in silence for fear that violence with find them
So frightened they started cryin', tried hidin', spotted a lion!
But Tinny got the pussy by the tail and the kitty cat wailed under his power!
So scared that he pissed, Tinny rubbed his nose in it and called him a coward
'You fuckin' coward!'
He grabbed the cat by the scruff and he flicked pick at the stuffin' of the scarecrow
Argo miss little muffin could(What?) utter nothin'
With a hand on her hips, licked his thin metals lips and he thirsted for her
And with the handle back of his battle axe, hiked up the front of her skirt.
AND SAID
'Sweet little Dorothy oh lord what I have in store for you
There is no place like home, You ain't in Kansas no more!
Don't try nothin' funny honey or you'll get killed
Just like a hundred flyin' monkeys and the Lollipop guild!'
When they reached emerald city little old bitty scattered in packs
'Cuz they got word for the birds who had heard that the Tin Man was back
That empty phallic palace thick with malice and fear
And at the end up a long hall a ten foot tall green head did appear!
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He called himself a the great wizard.
'Yeah like hell you are a old man!'
So certain that he heard him Tinny pulled back the curtain, caught him in his cold hand
Feelin' even meaner he was beatin' down a senior, evil gives him a buzz!
If ever a wicked ass wizard there was it isn't this midget it isn't because
Here comes the Tin Man(Tin Man!)
And he's the king of the forest
STOP!
No second chorus!
And with his dying breath the wizard took a stab in the dark
And he guessed that Tinny's chest was empty and he needed a heart
He offered him one said he had plenty in stock
'Are you fucking shitting me? This is a five dollar clock!'
He crushed it in his fist so pissed so livid with rage
And with the same hand harvested the old man's own heart from his ribcage
And ate it like a pear right there off his chin wizard blood was drippin'
Then he turned back fast to his captives a fresh corpse was still twitchin'
AND SAID
'You should have left me rustin' see, you never should have trusted me
Incapable of lovin' but there's still a lot of lust in me
I rob and rape and use and steal and kill all the rest
Because I couldn't care less, really I couldn't care less(AWWW)
Cheated on every last girlfriend laughed as their worlds end and told such lies (Lies)
Called 'em all fat told them that I never loved them as I looked in their eyes (Eyes)
I guided the blind the wrong way, shaved a teens head balled on their prom day
Crashed birthday parties and told kids their adopted and watched what their moms say
Once I told a lie to the scarecrow wont let him go if you listen to me
Well that was a lie too, now you're gonna die you miserable three!'
He set fire to the man made of hay
Thought of more then one way to skin the cat!
Saved the best for last but in his glee didn't see Dorothy slip out the back!
She was off in a balloon, she thought to soon she had lost him
'Cuz Tinny caught a ride back the Kansas grabbing that Basket by the bottom
She awoke at home he wasn't there and our fair heroin felt so protected
But the Tin Man was there, he ran for senate and a landslide was elected
Here comes the Tin Man! (Tin Man!)
And he will hack you apart
('And I will hack you apart')
His skin is made of metal and he has no heart
(My skin is made of metal and I have no heart)
He needs oil His body is so cold and so hollow
(I need oil, My body is so cold and so hollow)
Blood bath down the yellow path that he follows
(Blood bath down the yellow path that I follow)
Here comes the Tin Man (Tin Man!)
Look in his ball bearing eyes, find an empty stare it's icy as his iron side hide
(Look in my ball bearing eyes, find an empty stare it's icy as his iron side hide)
He's kinda like a robot with no wires inside
(I'm kinda like a robot with no wires inside')
A heavy metal lumberjack, never have a heart attack, never gonna die!
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