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Martin Mull

Margie the Midget

I spent a lovely boyhood
Hitching rides on passing trains
I was lying in the window
With my aches... against the panes.

But now I'm sitting on a houseboat
Tied to a wharf
Come and see me today
Sitting on a houseboat, I got married to a dwarf
Come and see us anyway.

I married a midget, why not?
I thought about it an awful lot
And I couldn't think of any reason that didn't seem small
And when I thought just a little more about it
I couldn't think of any, any reason at all.

Keep on your toes, my midget bride
You're just as tall as a rose
And three dozen wide
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When folks come over, Margie
You don't have to hide.
I love you little midget, every way that we've tried.

She makes me feel about 11 feet tall.
Heaven looks after the folks that are small.
You know, people write in and they're asking 'how do you ball?'
Well, love is the answer. And we answer 'em all.

And then we go walkin'
Hand and ankle
Down to the dock
Ready to sail away.

Walkin' hand in ankle
She's got her arm around my ... sock.
Ready to sail away today.