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Schmekel
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Hold My Yod
Isn't it lovely that we're friends wouldn't it be fun to pretend
That you're the rabbi and you caught me skipping class
I did not recite my prayers so bend me over the classroom chair
Pull my hair and fuck me in the ass
It's so delightful that we're friends and that I'm not completely gay
So punish me for working so hard on the holy day
Show me how to find G-d for I've been a wayward Jew
And I need to be told what to do
oy oy oy oy oy
Isn't it charming that we are buds two years of T made me a stud
So shove me into the wall with an alarming thud
I hope you don't mind that I'm smitten looking at the places you
Left a giant black and blue
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oy oy oy oy oy
Isn't it pleasant that we're chums aren't you glad we aren't frum
So won't you beat me with a flogger on my bum
You make me come in such a complicated way
Oh what would Shmuley say
oy oy oy oy oy
You inspire something tender you require something shmlatzy
Oh you bring out something emo, something fuzzy soft and artsy
Shove things in my mouth benevolently tie me up magnificently
Bite me and not too gently
You beat me up so elegantly
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