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Neil Gaiman
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A girl was the only occupant…
A girl was the only occupant of the conservatory.
Her hair was so fair it was white, and long, and straight, and she sat at the glass-topped table, her hands clasped together, staring at the garden outside, and the gathering dusk.
She seemed wistful.
Do you mind if I sit here?' I asked, gesturing with my cup.
She sher head, and then followed it up with a shrug, to indicate that it was all the same to her.
I sat down.
Vic walked past the conservatory door.
Talk.
Right.
Are you from around here?' I asked the girl.
She sher head.
She wore a low-cut silvery top, and I tried not to stare at the swell of her breasts.
I said, '
What's your name?
I'm Enn.'
Wain's Wain,' she said, or something that sounded like it. '
I'm a second.'
That's uh.
That's a different name.'
She fixed me with huge, liquid eyes. '
It indicates that my progenitor was also Wain, and that I am obliged to report back to her.
I may not breed.'
Ah.
Well.
Bit early for that anyway, isn't it?'
She unclasped her hands, raised them above the table, spread her fingers. '
You see?' The little finger on her left hand was crooked, and it bifurcated at the top, splitting into two smaller fingertips.
A minor deformity. '
When I was finished a decision was needed.
Would I be retained, or eliminated?
I was fortunate that the decision was with me.
Now, I travel, while my more perfect sisters remain at home in stasis.
They were firsts.
I am a second.
Soon I must return to Wain, and tell her all I have seen.
All my impressions of this place of yours.'
I don't actually live in Croydon,' I said. '
I don't come from here.' I wondered if she was American.
I had no idea what she was talking about.
As you say,' she agreed, 'neither of us comes from here.' She folded her six- fingered left hand beneath her right, as if tucking it out of sight. '
I had expected it to be bigger, and cleaner, and more colorful.
But still, it is a jewel.'
She yawned, covered her mouth with her right hand, only for a moment, before it was back on the table again. '
I grow weary of the journeying, and I wish sometimes that it would end.
On a street in Rio at Carnival, I saw them on a bridge, golden and tall and insect-eyed and winged, and elated I almost ran to greet them, before I saw that they were only people in costumes.
I said to Hola Colt, '
Why do they try so hard to look like us?' and Hola Colt replied, '
Because they hate themselves, all shades of pink and brown, and so small.' It is what I experience, even me, and I am not grown.
It is like a world of children, or of elves.' Then she smiled, and said, '
It was a good thing they could not any of them see Hola Colt.'
Um,' I said, 'do you want to dance?'
She sher head immediately. '
It is not permitted,' she said. '
I can do nothing that might cause damage to property.
I am Wain's.'
Would you like something to drink, then?'
Water,' she said.
I went back to the kitchen and poured myself another Coke, and filled a cup with water from the tap.
From the kitchen back to the hall, and from there into the conservatory, but now it was quite empty.
I wondered if the girl had gone to the toilet, and if she might change her mind about dancing later.
I walked back to the front room and stared in.
The place was filling up.
There were more girls dancing, and several lads I didn't know, who looked a few years older than me and Vic.
The lads and the girls all kept their distance, but Vic was holding Stella's hand as they danced, and when the song ended he put an arm around her, casually, almost proprietorially, to make sure that nobody else cut in.
I wondered if the girl I had been talking to in the conservatory was now upstairs, as she did not appear to be on the ground floor.
I walked into the living room, which was across the hall from the room where the people were dancing, and I sat down on the sofa.
There was a girl sitting there already.
She had dark hair, cut short and spiky, and a nervous manner.
Talk, I thought. '
Um, this mug of water's going spare,' I told her, 'if you want it?'
She nodded, and reached out her hand and took the mug, extremely carefully, as if she were unused to taking things, as if she could trust neither her vision nor her hands.
I love being a tourist,' she said, and smiled hesitantly.
She had a gap between her two front teeth, and she sipped the tap water as if she were an adult sipping a fine wine. '
The last tour, we went to sun, and we swam in sunfire pools with the whales.
We heard their histories and we shivered in the chill of the outer places, then we swam deepward where the heat churned and comforted us.
I wanted to go back.
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This time, I wanted it.
There was so much I had not seen.
Instead we came to world.
Do you like it?'
Like what?'
She gestured vaguely to the room -- the sofa, the armchairs, the curtains, the unused gas fire.
It's all right, I suppose.'
I told them I did not wish to visit world,' she said. '
My parent-teacher was unimpressed. '
You will have much to learn,' it told me.
I said, '
I could learn more in sun, again.
Or in the deeps.
Jessa spun webs between galaxies.
I want to do that.'
But there was no reasoning with it, and I came to world.
Parent-teacher engulfed me, and I was here, embodied in a decaying lump of meat hanging on a frame of calcium.
As I incarnated I felt things deep inside me, fluttering and pumping and squishing.
It was my first experience with pushing air through the mouth, vibrating the vocal cords on the way, and I used it to tell parent-teacher that I wished that I would die, which it acknowledged was the inevitable exit strategy from world.'
There were black worry beads wrapped around her wrist, and she fiddled with them as she spoke. '
But knowledge is there, in the meat,' she said, 'and I am resolved to learn from it.'
We were sitting close at the center of the sofa now.
I decided I should put an arm around her, but casually.
I would extend my arm along the back of the sofa and eventually sort of creep it down, almost imperceptibly, until it was touching her.
She said, '
The thing with the liquid in the eyes, when the world blurs.
Nobody told me, and I still do not understand.
I have touched the folds of the Whisper and pulsed and flown with the tachyon swans, and I still do not understand.'
She wasn't the prettiest girl there, but she seemed nice enough, and she was a girl, anyway.
I let my arm slide down a little, tentatively, so that it made contact with her back, and she did not tell me to take it away.
Vic called to me then, from the doorway.
He was standing with his arm around Stella, protectively, waving at me.
I tried to let him know, by shaking my head, that I was onto something, but he called my name and, reluctantly, I got up from the sofa and walked over to the door. '
What?'
Er.
Look.
The party,' said Vic, apologetically. '
It's not the one I thought it was.
I've been talking to Stella and I figured it out.
Well, she sort of explained it to me.
We're at a different party.'
Christ.
Are we in trouble?
Do we have to go?'
Stella sher head.
He leaned down and kissed her, gently, on the lips. '
You're just happy to have me here, aren't you darlin'?'
You know I am,' she told him.
He looked from her back to me, and he smiled his white smile: roguish, lovable, a little bit Artful Dodger, a little bit wide- boy Prince Charming. '
Don't worry.
They're all tourists here anyway.
It's a foreign exchange thing, innit?
Like when we all went to Germany.'
It is?'
Enn.
You got to talk to them.
And that means you got to listen to them, too.
You understand?'
I did.
I already talked to a couple of them.'
You getting anywhere?'
I was till you called me over.'
Sorry about that.
Look, I just wanted to fill you in.
Right?'
And he patted my arm and he walked away with Stella.
Then, together, the two of them went up the stairs.
Understand me, all the girls at that party, in the twilight, were lovely; they all had perfect faces but, more important than that, they had whatever strangeness of proportion, of oddness or humanity it is that makes a beauty something more than a shop window dummy.
Stella was the most lovely of any of them, but she, of course, was Vic's, and they were going upstairs together, and that was just how things would always be.
There were several people now sitting on the sofa, talking to the gap- toothed girl.
Someone told a joke, and they all laughed.
I would have had to push my way in there to sit next to her again, and it didn't look like she was expecting me back, or cared that I had gone, so I wandered out into the hall.
I glanced in at the dancers, and found myself wondering where the music was coming from.
I couldn't see a record player or speakers.
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