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MYSSOURI

The Floorless Jig

Well blood is thicker than water
But liquor's thicker than either
My mother said I was born to perform
I'm beginning to believe her
That girl I wed said I'd get to nothin' big
But she never figured on my floorless jig!
A martyr needs a murder
To lend creedence to his fable
While I never meant to hurt her
Like Cain I am unable to surmount the odds
When my cards are so clearly rigged
The holy hand of chance deigned I'd dance this floorless jig!
I wed the preacher's daughter
And she rode me like a mule
But as that rheumy room besought her
Old horny gave me my gruel
Well, she bled in bed just like a fresh stuck pig!
Now let every prig regard my floorless jig!
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Well the bottle made me do it
Now I'm famous like a saint
When the man says 'you will rue it.'
I say 'I am the Great I ain't!'
If you've got a last request son
Well you better speak up now
I look boldly from the scaffold
I said, 'I need a bigger crowd!'
'I need an audience all tense to see me swing!
They can tell my ma how they saw my floorless jig!'
Well hangin and a-wivin' were never in my plans!
But bangin and a-knivin made for such a dual dance!
Have you ever seen such a perfect pelvic dig?
Well just take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!
Well just take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!
I said take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!