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The Minstrels of Mayhem
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Johnny Jump Up
Well, I'll tell you a story that happened to me
one day as I went out to Yaw by the sea.
The day it was hot, the sun it was warm,
says I, 'A quick pint wouldn't do any harm.'
I went in and ordered a bottle of stout.
Says the barman, 'I'm sorry the beer's all sold out.
Try whiskey, young Paddy, ten years in the wood.'
Says I, 'I'll have cider; I've heard that it's good.'
Chorus:
But I'll never, no never, no never again
if I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten.
Well I fell to the ground and I could not get up
after drinking a quart of the Johnny-Jump-Up.
After law in the third, I came out by the yard
where I walked into Brofie, the big civic guard;
'Come 'ere to me boy. Don't you know I'm the law?'
I opened me fist and I shattered his jaw.
Well he fell to the ground with his knees doubled up;
'twas not I that what hit him, but the Johnny Jump-Up.
Chorus
The next thing that I met down by Yaw by the Sea
was a cripple on crutches, and he said to me,
'I'm afraid for me life. I'll be hit by a car.
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Won't you help me across to the railwayman's bar?'
But after drinkin' a quart of the cider so sweet,
he threw down his crutches and danced on his feet.
Chorus
Well I went down the lee road a friend for to see;
they call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Sea.
But when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,
they had the poor bugger locked up in his cell.
So's the guard tested him, 'Say these word if you can:
'Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.'
'Tell 'em I'm not crazy, tell 'em I'm not mad.
'Twas only the sip off the bottle I had.'
Chorus
A man died in the Union by the name of McNabb.
They washed him and they laid him out on a slab.
And after O'Connor his measurements did take,
his wife took him home for a bloody fine wake.
Well, about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high,
the corpse sits up and says he with a sigh,
'I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up,
'till I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump-Up.'
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