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Oliver! - 1994 London Palladium Cast
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That's Your Funeral
Liberal terms, Mr. Sowerberry, Liberal terms
Three pounds
Well, as a matter of fact, I was needing a boy
He's a born undertaker's mute
I can see him in his black silk suit
Following behind the funeral procession
With his features fixed in a suitable expression
There'll be horses with tall black plumes
To escort us to the family tombs,
With mourners in all corners who've been taught to weep in tune
Then the coffin lined with satin.
That's your funeral
That's your funeral
Large enough to wear your hat in
That's your funeral
That's your funeral
We're just here to glamourize you for that endless sleep
You might just as well look fetching when you're six feet deep
At the wake we'll drink a toddy to the body beautiful
That's your funeral
Not our funeral
That's your funeral
If you're fond of overeating that's your funeral
That's your funeral
Starve yourself by undereating that's your funeral
That's your funeral
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Visualize the earth descenting on you clod by clod
You can't come back when you're buried underneath the sod
We will not reduce our prices keep your vices usual
That's your funeral
Not our funeral
That's your funeral
I don't think this song is funny
That's your funeral
That's your funeral
Here's the boy, now where's the money?
That's your funeral
That's your funeral
We don't harbour thoughts macabre there's no need to frown
In the end we'll either burn you up or nail you down
We love coughs and wheezes and diseases cure incurable
That's your funeral
No one else's funeral
That's your funeral!
Right then Oliver Twist
Your bed's underneath the counter
You don't mind sleeping among the coffins I suppose
Well it don't much matter whether you do or you don't
Coz you can't sleep nowhere else!
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