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Beans

When they say every flavour, they mean every flavour
Put your hand in; who knows what you're getting?
Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans
They are a risk with every mouthful

There's lettuce, and onion, and every kind of cheese
You'd ever eat and some you wouldn't, and peanut flavour too
There's also chips, and pizza, and earwax flavour
There's even something that looks suspiciously like pepper
Strawberry, and almond, pork, and half-baked cake
There's also plastic, and ink of every kind of colour
There's tomato, and radish, and egg, and grass, and watermelon
Watch out for the brown ones – 'could be mud or chocolate too or even…

When they say every flavour, they mean every flavour
Put your hand in; who knows what you're getting?
Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans
They are a risk with every mouthful

(Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans!)
Flour, and carrot – steamed or fried or both, or maybe toffee
If you're lucky ('cause the ochre ones could be anything)
(Three Sickles, Harry! Let's buy some!)
There's gravel, and salad, and fish, and beef, and pasta sauce
With bacon and olives, and a cauldron full of frog's eyes
And there's liver, and tripe, and spice, and all things nice
There's also rubber, and mint, and the sticky stuff you find at the back of cupboards

When they say every flavour, they mean every flavour
Put your hand in; who knows what you're getting?
Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans
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They are a risk with every mouthful

Coleslaw, and cracker, and hot waffles with jam
There's also caviar, and pigeon, and Peter picked a peck of pickled peppers
And green ones you'd only try if you're Godric Gryffindor
With your eyes closed when you're much too sick to smell anything
And cocoa, and milk, and chilli sauce, and Branston pickle
You could try that grey one, but rather you than me, 'cause I'm a Slytherin

Every flavour, they mean every flavour
Put your hand in; who knows what you're getting?
Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans
They are a risk with every mouthful

Every flavour, they mean every flavour (This one tastes like kumquats.)
Put your hand in; who knows what you're getting? (Another bean!)
Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans (D'you think there's any E numbers in these, Harry?)
They are a risk with every mouthful (This one's got a checkered pattern on it!)

I'm not touching that one!
Aren't there any nice beans?
Where do they get all these flavours from?
Oh no … corned beef!
This one tastes alr-- no, no it doesn't!
Charming, Ron!
More beans!
Harry, I think I need to go to St Mungo's ...
Well that's three Sickles down the drain.