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Young and Heartless
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Ghost Pity
Your father is out golfing away his problems, and your mom gets paid to talk to strangers but she still 'don't have a word' to say to you. And you say you don't care, I don't know how you do it.
If you love them, don't you need them and don't you need them to love you too?
So you cut cut cut away all of your feelings, just to avoid them seeing something,
but even if they did, you doubt they would care.
You're just a hair on a blade in a bloodless holy war.
So today is your last, just like the past 4 years, the feeling feels healthy and worth it.
But not much has changed, a grown woman afraid of phone calls, afraid of bad news.
Afraid we don't all live forever like we used to.
You take pills in your purse and you wonder if you'd want to.
I'm at home feeling sorry for myself and my perfect family, hiding out in my room always distracted, but somehow you're always always always on my mind.
You're the reason I'm still staring at the ceiling, losing sleep, wasting time.
Do you feel 'sorry for me' or 'envy me' the way that I envy you at all?
Do you feel 'sorry for me' or 'envy me' the way that I envy you?
Am I in love when I breathe in pity and leave myself alone?
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