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Original Cast Of Cats
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Gus: The Theatre Cat
(Jellylorum) Gus is the cat
At the theatre door
His name, as I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus,
but that's such a fuss to pronounce,
that we usually call him just Gus
His coat's very shabby
He's thins as a rake,
and he suffers froms palsy
that makes his paws shake
Yet he was in his youth,
quite the smartest of cats,
but no longer a terror
to mice or to rats.
For he isn't the cat
that he was in his prime
though his name was quite famous
he says in his time
and whenever he joins his friends at the club
(which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)
He loves to regale them,
if someone else pays,
with anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.
For he once was a star
of the highest degree
He has acted with Irving,
he's acted with Tree
And he likes to relate his success on the walls
where the gallery once gave him
seven cat calls
But his greatest creation as he loves to tell
was Firefrofiddle the Fiend of the Fell
(Gus) I have played in my time
every possible part
and i used to know
Seventy speeches
by heart
I'd extemporize back chat.
I knew how to gag.
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
I knew how to act
with my back and tail;
with an hour of rehearsal
I never could fail
I had a voice that would soften
the hardest of hearts,
whether I took the lead
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or in character parts
I have sat by the bed side
of poor little Nell,
when the curfew was rung
then i swung on the bell
In the pantomime season
I never fell flat
and I one under studied Dick Whittington's Cat
But my grandest creation,
as history will tell
was Firefrofiddle the Fiend of the Fell
(Jellylorum) Then if someone will give him, a toothful of gin,
He will tell how he once played a part in 'East Lynne'
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
When some actor suggested the need for a cat.
(Gus) And I say now these kittens
they do not get trained
as we did in the days when Victoria reigned
They never get drilled in a regular troupe
and they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
(Jellylorum) And he says as he scratches
himself with his claws
(Gus) Well the theatre is certainly not what it was
These modern productions
are all very well,
but there's nothing to equal,
from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery
when I made history
as Firefrofiddle the Fiend of the Fell
I once crossed the stage
on a telegraph wire
to rescue a child when a house
was on fire
and i think that I still can
much better than most
produce bloodcurdling noises
to bring on the ghost
And I once played Growltiger
could do it again
could do it again
could do it a-
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