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Now Chart Hit Singers

Stan (In the Style of Eminem)

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I.
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window.
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad.

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I.
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window.
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad.

Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; f*** it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend (killed) himself over some b**** who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground s*** that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the s*** you did with Ruckus too, that s*** was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I.
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window.
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad.

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's f***ed up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, 'No.'
That's pretty sh**ty man - you're like his f**kin' idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad, though, i just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write to you you would write back
See, i'm just like you in way
I never knew my father neither, he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs
So when i have a sh**ty day, i drift away and put em on
Cuz i ain't really got s**t else so that s**t helps when i'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest
Sometimes I even (cut) myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cuz you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
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You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I.
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window.
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad.

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey, Slim, I drank a fifth of (vodka), dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins 'In the Air Tonight'
About that guy, who coulda saved that other guy from drownin,
But didn't then Phil saw it all then at that show he found him
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drownin
No it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, i'm drowsy
And all i wanted, was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know i ripped all of your pictures of the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See Slim; shut up b****! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend
but I didn't, I just (tied her up), see I ain't like you
cause if she she'll suffer more, and then she'll (die), too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the now
Oh s**t, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this s**t out?

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that s**t intentionally just to diss you
And what's this s**t you said about you like to (cut) your wrists too?
I say that (shit) just clowning dog,
c'mon - how f**ked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counselling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this s**t about us meant to be together?
That type of s**t'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy (shit)
I seen this one s**t on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a
and had his (girlfriend in the trunk), and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was. it was you
Damn!





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