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Judy Small
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No Tears for the Widow
I never saw my mother cry
\until the night my father died
Married nearly thirty years
and his dying had been hard
I remember how the family came
to share the grief the tears, the pain
And how her friends all gathered round
And all the black rimmed cards.
The funeral was a large affair
the civic fathers all were there
And mother held up stoically she never shed a tear
But everyone there understood
that she had entered widow-hood
And life would never be the same
her status now was clear.
And there were tears for the widowtears for the widow
For the woman who had lost her
love and must carry on alone
And mother now writes 'widow' in the space
on all the forms it's a part of her identity
like her grey hair or her name
My friend Amelia lost her love
to cancer's slow and painful glove
The dying was no easier than my father was back then
No black-rimmed cards came to her door
her grief and anguish all ignored.
Except of course for closest friends
who tried to understand.
Her love was described by all
as a single woman living well
A tragic loss for family taken well before time
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When Amy left the funeral home
She traveled to the house alone
And sat among familiar things
and wept into the night
And there were no tears for the widow
No tears for t he widow
For the woman who had lost her love
and must carry on all alone
And Amy still writes 'single'
in the space on all the forms
But she rages at the lie it tells
and the loss that it ignores.
And who can tellme how many women
live their lives in shadows
Unrecongized, unsympathized
unseen dissalowed
Who've lost not only lovers
but often hearth and home
For 'marriage' is a special word
and only meant for some.
And there are no tears for the widows
No tears for the widows
For the women who've lost lovers
and must carry on alone
And life goes on but for them
There is no space on any form
Yes 'marriage' is a special word
and only meant for some
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