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Mike Birbiglia
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Cracka
I wanted to be a rapper when i was a kid, it surprises people because I'm a cracker.
I'm a cracker ass, white bread, honkey.
That's right.
I like using the word, cracker a little in my act because a lot of black comics use the '
N' word, I like using the '
C' word like; Me and my Cracker friends were driving down the street in my Volvo stationwagon and I said, 'hey Cracka pass the Sunchips,' and he said, '
Not 'till we get to the picknick Cracker,' and I say '
Cracka please.' and he's like '
Cracka whaaaaaaat?' Well I said that at a show and a black guy comes up to me and he's like '
My Cracker.' and I was like '
Actually you can't call me a cracker.
Only we can call each other crackers.
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You can say cracka, but not cracker.' He was like, 'it's ok i got white friends and they're cool with it, so I cooled down.' I just like doing that voice like, 'me and my cracker friends' that's like my white guy doing a black guy doing a white guy voice.
Because a lot of black comics have the one white guy voice like, 'this is rediculous.' like we all talk like british detectives.
And I don't know anyone who talks like that.
I feel bad for the one guy on earth who does talk like that, and he's watching those comics on T.
V.
and he's like, '
This is proposterous!
That doesn't sound like me at all!
Wait until I get my hands on that black fella, but first I'm gonna dance.'
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