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Garfunkel and Oates

If I Didn't Have You (Bernadette's Song)

If I didn't have you, life would be blue,
I'd be Doctor Who without the Tardis,
I'd be a candle without a wick,
A Watson without a Crick,
I'd be one of my outfits without Dick-ie
I'd be cheese without the mac,
Jobs without the Wozniak.
I'd be solving exponential equations
That use bases not found on your calculator,
Making it much harder to crack.
I'd be an atom without a bomb,
A dot without the com,
And I'd probably still live with my Mom.

And he'd probably still live with his mom.

Ever since I met you,
You turned my world around.
You supported all my dreams and all my hopes.
You're like Uranium 235 and I'm Uranium 238,
Almost inseparable isotopes.
I couldn't have imagined
How good my life would get,
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From the moment that I met you, Bernadette.

If I didn't have you, life would be dreary.
I'd be string theory without any string.
I'd be binary code without a one, Cathode ray tube without an electron gun.
I'd be 'Firefly', 'Buffy' and 'Avengers' without Joss Whedon.
I'd speak a lot more Klingon:
qalopmeH QaQ jajvam.And he'd definitely still live with his mom.

Ever since I met you,
You turned my world around.
You're my best friend and my lover.
We're like changing electic and magnetic fields:
You can't have one without the other.
I couldn't have imagined
How good my life would get,
From the moment that I met you, Bernadette.

Oh, we couldn't have imagined
How good our lives would get,
From the moment that we met you, Bernadette.