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Bryn Terfel
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How to Handle a Woman
You swore that you had taught me everything from A to Z,
With nary an omission in between.
Well, I shall tell you what you obviously forgot：
That's how a ruler rules a Queen!
And what of teaching me by turning me to animal and bird,
From beaver to the smallest bobolink!
I should have had a whirl, at changing to a girl,
To learn the way the creatures think!
But wasn't there a night, on a summer long gone by,
We saw a couple wrangling away;
And did I not say, Merlyn: What if that chap were I?
And did he not give counsel and say...
What was it now?... My mind's a wall,
Oh, yes!... By Jove, now I recall.
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'How to handle a woman?
There's a way,' said the wise old man,
'A way known by every woman
Since the whole rigmarole began.'
'Do I flatter her?' I begged him answer.
'Do I threaten or cajole or plead?
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?'
Said he, smiling: 'No, indeed.
How to handle a woman?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir:
The way to handle a woman
Is to love her... simply love her...
Merely love her... love her... love her.'
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