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Anne Feeney
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Brave New Christmas
Put down those hammers put down those saws
You ain't working no more for Santa Claus
Turn in the bells, grab a pink slip
You elves have replaced by a microchip
Frosty the Snowman – you've been outsourced
No more meltdowns on our workforce
Additionally these layoffs shall include the Sugar Plum Fairy
And that Nutcracker Dude
Christmas has a brand new CEO
And the business plan don't include any ho-ho-ho
A new holiday for a brand new century
We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently
A total restructure began today of this much overrated holiday
Downsize, streamline experts say that Christmas ain't nothing but a dead giveaway
For homeland chimney security, Santa's been taken into custody
In the race to the bottom you are taking a lead
There is no holiday for corporate greed
Power bills rising clean out of sight –
Got to euthanize that reindeer with the bright red light
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Unplug the manger unplug the tree – we're switching to fluorescents and LEDs
Furthermore, our studies did conclude that factories aren't suited to this latitude
To fight the cost of heating in so much snow we're moving these jobs to Mexico
Christmas has a brand new CEO
And the business plan don't include any ho-ho-ho
Oh it's a new holiday for a brand new century
We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently
By leveraging technology we can redeliver Christmas virtually
Let them baste virtual butterballs, with virtually no cholesterol
We'll sell virtual presents in virtual malls with no overhead expense at all
They can virtually decorate their virtual halls with virtual boughs and virtual balls
Christmas has a brand new CEO
And the business plan don't include any ho-ho-ho
Oh it's a new holiday for a brand new century
We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently
We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently
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