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Andrea Gibson
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Blue Blanket (live)
Still, there are days...
when there is no way, not even a chance
that I dare for even a second glance at the reflection
of my body in the mirror and she knows why
like I know why
she only cries when she feels she's about to loose control
she knows how much control is worth
knows how much a woman can loose
when her power to move is take away
by a grip so thick with hate it could clip the wings of god
send the next eight generations of your blood shaking
and tonight something inside me is breaking
my heart beating so deep beneath the sheets of her pain
I could give every tear she's crying
a year, a name, and a face I'd forever erase if I could
just like she would
for me or you
but how much closer to free would any of us be
if even a few forgot
what too many women in this world cannot
and what the hell would you tell your daughter?
your someday-daughter
when you have to hold her beautiful face
to the beat-up face of this place
that hasn't learned the meaning of STOP
stop
what would you tell you daughter
of the womb raped empty?
the eyes swollen shut, the gut too frightened to hold food,
the thousands upon thousands of bodies used and abused
it was seven minutes of the worst kind of hell
SEVEN
and she stopped believing in heaven
distrust became her law, fear her bible
the only chance of survival:
don't trust any of them
bolt the doors to your home, iron-gate your windows
when walking to the car alone
get the keys in the lock
PLEASE!
please, please, please open!
already she can feel the 5 fingered noose round your neck
200lbs of hatred engraved into the sacred soil of your flesh
PLEASE!
please, please, please, please open
already you're choking for breath
listening for the broken-record of the defense:
answer the question
answer the question
answer the question
miss?
why am I on trial for this?
would you talk to your sister
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your daughter, your mother like this?
I am generations of sisters, daughters, mothers
our bodies battlefields
war zones beneath the weapons of your brothers' hands
do you know they've found land mines
in broken women's souls?
black holes in the parts of their hearts
that once sang symphonies of creation
bright as the light on infinity's halo?
she says, I remember how love used to glow on my skin
like glitter on my skin before he made his way in
now every touch feels like a sin that could crucify medusa
kali oshun mary, bury me
in a blue blanket so god doesn't know I'm a girl
cut off my curls, I want peace when I'm dead
her friend knocks at the door
it's been three weeks
don't you think it's time you got out of bed? no.
the ceiling fan still feeling like his breath
I think I need just a few more days of rest
PLEASE!
bruises on her knees from begging to forget
she's heard stories of vietnam vets
who can still feel the tingling of their amputated limbs
she's wondering how many women
are walking around this world still feeling the tingling
of their amputated wings
remembering what it was to fly, to sing
tonight she's not wondering what she would tell her daughter
she knows what she would tell her daughter
she'd ask her what gods do you believe in?
I'll build you temple of mirrors so you can see them
pick the brightest star you ever wished on
I'll show the light in you that made that wish come true
tonight she's not asking what you would tell your daughter
she's life deep in the hell, the slaughter
has already died a thousand deaths
with every unsteady breath
a thousand graves in every pore of her flesh
and she knows the war's not over
she knows there's bleeding to come
knows she's far from the only woman or girl
trusting this world
no more than the hands trust rusted barbed wire
she was whole before that night
believed in heaven before that night
and she knows she won't be the only one
no she knows she won't be the only one
she's not asking what you're gonna tell your daughter
she's asking what you're gonna teach you're son.
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