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Lines of Descent

I have been searching for this unholy depiction of the self
An exterior sight for the meaningless faces that defy me
And yet I still fail to know when to believe in what you are seeing
For there is more than this shell

Taking this in is harder to bear since
The will of my being is unknowing scarce
But I will learn through the ways of defeat
This rejection, it was channeled through me

So I am left with this unguided path full of plight
Where no one's listening or see my signs of grief
Because I lack respect
I must accept this fate for all these rash mistakes
And clear the view from here, my life in peril
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When desolation breeds your heart beings to sink
It blocks the will to see that you are out of line
So many years and still not pass this all
Be aware of what you speak

This is the only way to reconcile my afflicted mind
And yet it's stressing me to undo the damage

If we look inside we will surely find the source
Of all the insolence, still we must judge ourselves before anyone else
I lacked the thought to see myself in any other way
To be the enemy I've always sought to kill