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Gory Blister



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Gory Blister

I Shall Hang Myself

The ceiling of my mind is a banqueting hall
Thousand cockroaches shift on the floor
I had a night in which everything was revealed
Cockroaches comprise a truth I'll never speak
They were there, and knew my name
Don't let me forget

I'm sad, I feel the future is hopeless
I'm bored, I'm guilty and I am being punished
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I've lost interest in other people
I cannot make decisions, I can't sleep, I can't think
I cannot love, overcome my lonelyness, my fear, my disgust
I would like to kill myself
In darkness!

Four-forty-eight desparation visits, I shall speak no more
I don't want to die
I've become so depressed by the fact of my mortality
I don't want to live, I don't want to die!

I will drown in disphoria
In the cold black pond of the self
The pit of my immaterial mind
How can I return to form?
Not a life I could countenance
They will love me for that which destroys me

The sword in my dreams
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The dust of my thoughts
The sickness that breeds in the folds of my mind
Ask me why!

I shall hang myself [4x]

Sertraline: insomnia worsened
Citalopram: morning tremors
Prozac: weight loss, homicidal thoughts, believes consultant is the Antichrist
Thorazine: slept calmer

My body decompensates, my body flies apart
Like a bird on the wing in a swollen sky
How can I return to form?
My mind is torn away by lightning
As it flies apart from the thunder behind

Four-forty-eight desparation visits
I've become so depress by the fact of my mortality
Warm darkness, which soaks my eyes, I know no sin

The capture, the rapture, the rupture of a soul
Validate me, witness me, see me, love me
My final submission my final defeat
Watch me vanish, watch me vanish, vanish
I'm in my right mind
I can see myself