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Monty Python
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Bruces' Philosophers Song (Bruces' Song)
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beary swine
who was just as schloshed as Schegel
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill
of his own free will
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on a half a pint of shany
is particularly ill
Plato they say
can stick it away
half a create of whisky everyday
Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was found of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
' I drink, therefore I am '
Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed
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