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MC Paul Barman



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MC Paul Barman

Excuse You

I make def tunes, take from MF Doom and Jeff Koons
No one left for the restrooms when I got on stage
I can rock the mic to silence by Jon Cage with the arty flavor
I shoot the gift like a party favor
Flip the script and makes it do cartwheels
Feel smart, steal hearts and start meals with chocolate
I drop gems like I got holes in my pockets

Why talk? Heck, oh shuck
I catches wreck like a towtruck, silly kid
I'm iller than the Iliad and show more
Than Shoah while you're so corny
You've got to Sohcahtoa

Pemdas Efx, the number one skirmisher
I'm in the house like furniture, pessimist
I'll push the envelope off a precipice
I push the envelope so hard, it goes, 'Excuse you'

Take two and pass, make you spin on your ass like a
Green paint sprinkler on white grass, I'm rapping, son
'You're not my Dad' If you think you think outside the box
You're trapped in one. I'm advancing the art form
Depantsing a fart storm, some people don't like thinking
Guess it's too hard for them

My dope duds don't touch soap suds
I keep it realer than a rotoscope does
I keep it more Gully than Jonathon
Livingston

Brag rhymes have no lag times, acrostics, narratives
Fibbonacci challenge poems, declarative palindromes
Manifestos, my five fans can attest, yo

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Coming soon? Morse Code
Origami, Kirigami, Krikigami
Issue harsher restraints
And if I had any rhythm
Maybe you'd finally faint

The way I communicate can make a dang eunuch mate
I write first person light verse in a white hearse and I'm the
Ne plus ultra of B+ culture
My goal is to make you go, 'Holy frijoles, Jesus H.
Christ,' where 'H' stands for 'Holy crap' to boldly rap into the
Outer reaches.

This doubter teaches defining God as aligning
A divining rod with a hot chick's reclining bod.
'Cause life is fickle. Hellish
Anemic, sickle cellish, dude
You'll get chopped up like
Pickle relish

And when we perish
We're--what's the term, dude?
'Worm food'

Worm food, friends' memories fade
You're remembered by what you've made
So I intertwine my mind and my rhymes in a braid
I bungie jump into my grungy dump and come up with a
Trust fundy dust bunny spongy clump

I got a very goth towel, a terry cloth cowl
And when I wear it I'm a harry moth owl
I alway wanted to to the over intro