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MC Lars



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MC Lars

I Want My Guns N' Roses

Yo, this is Axl Rose, what do you want man?
Axl, it's MC Lars. Dude, why are you taking so long to make the new record?
MC Lars? How'd the hell you'd get this number, man?
You're the 'Download This Song' guy right? Do you know how much money you cost me last
year you punk?
Do you know how much money you're wasting trying to finish the new album?
Just finish 'Chinese Democracy', get it out there.
Hey, you know what? F--- you alright! Is that punk rock enough for you?
Why don't you go sell that in Hot Topic?
Look, Axl, Generation X is getting old they want something new.
You've heard the fans, they're all saying the same thing.
Yeah, what's that?

I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses

Back when hair metal was unironic
Guns N' Roses walked the Sunset Strip
They sold a lot of records to the Reagan Generation
Till grunge came along and had to ruin it
Now Axl's in his mansion working on the record
Been trying to finish it since '93
But it' s hard to write songs when you fire your band
And the room full of synths is so lonely
As their fans are getting older more nostaligic
they want their GNR, but they canÕt understand
And Steve is drumming in Guns tribute bands,
Why's Duff in Seattle and Slash writing books?
As Axl gets botoxed every day?
Wouldn't it be better if they all got along?
If Zeppelin can do it, so can they!

I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses

Alright Lars, you want to know why 'Chinese Democracy''s taking so long?
Yeah I do!
Check this out bro, it's genius.
Oh God, dude.
Yeah, it's called programming, you should get into it buddy.
Axl, Trent Reznor was doing that back in '89!
Ha! You got a better idea!
Yeah I do!

Call up Slash, Izzy, Steven and Duff
Apologize for 20 years of dysfunction
Finish Chinese Democracy
But lose the Appetite for Overproduction
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Guns coming back with a new CD
Will sell more than Thriller and the Wall combined
No one will pirate it they'll be so elated
They'll go to the record store and wait in line
This alone will save the major labels
And all their staff will get double their pay
They'll all buy Priuses to celebrate
Decreasing exhaust across L.A.
This dip in pollution will stop global warming
The planet will cheer as the scientists rejoice
They'll cure disease and bring world peace
You could save the world Axl it's your choice

I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses

Lars, I'm out of here man.
Why?
I've got botox at two, I've got lipo at four...
Axl, hold on, you used to be a symbol for rock and roll excess!
Dude I still rock!

I mean, you're lost in the jungle Axl
crabwalking in spandex tights
The November Rain is messing up your cornrows
Please hear our Cry Tonight
take us back to the Paradise City
St. Louis circa '91
You caused riots but we forgave you
self-desctructive rock stars need their fun
We know you're out of touch with the modern industry
You're like 'What's a blog?' our culture's from the street
The rock star myth is dead, the kids all know it's true
Lose Your Self Delusion I, Lose Your Self Delision II

I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses
I want my Guns N' Roses

YouTube killed the video star!
YouTube killed the video star!
YouTube killed the video star!
YouTube killed the video star!

Well Axl dude, I'm sorry to bother you, I'll see you at your show tonight.
I've got a show?