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Seanan McGuire
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Another Mad Science Love Song
MINION #1:
Doctor, why the long face?
MAD SCIENTIST #1:
I guess I left it in the mutagen too long. My mind's not on my work.
MINION #2:
Master, what's wrong?
MAD SCIENTIST #2:
I just can't focus on death rays and evil plots today. Maybe tomorrow.
MINION #1:
But Doctor--
MINION #2:
But Master--
MINIONS:
What's wrong?
MS #1:
World domination's a solitary art,
MS #2:
Don't leave much time for affairs of the heart.
MS #1:
But we were young once,
BOTH:
Before we went all the way mad!
MS #1:
Oh-oh-oh...
MS #2:
We always knew we had our destiny, but...
MS #1:
For just a while, it was him and me,
MS #2:
And now I wonder--
BOTH:
Did we really know what we had?
Oh-oh-oh...
Another mad science love song,
MS #1:
It was boy meets girl,
MS #2:
Oh, yeah, I conquered that world.
BOTH:
Who could have known things would go wrong?
MS #2:
She liked her labcoats tight --
MS #1:
We went grave-robbing all night!
MINION #2:
Was she your lab tech?
MS #2:
Oh, don't be absurd.
MINION #1:
Did you dissect him?
MS #1:
Have you listened to a word?
BOTH:
He/she was the love of my life,
It all seemed meant to be,
And to think that we met
At University!
MINION #1:
How did you know he was the guy for you?
MINION #2:
What made you certain that your love was true?
MINION #1:
Were there romantic dinners by an open grave?
MINION #2:
Did you use mind control? Was she a willing slave?
BOTH:
Oh!
Another mad science love song.
MS #2:
Her skill with DNA
Just made me wanna obey.
BOTH:
I guess our nature was too strong --
MS #1:
He worked in steel and chrome,
His lair was almost home.
MINION #1:
Did you betray him?
MS #1:
We are what we are.
MINION #2:
Did she attack you?
MS #2:
I treasure every scar,
BOTH:
He/she was the love of my life,
But still, I knew my path;
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Love has to wait 'til I've punished
Those who dared to laugh!
Oh-oh-oh...
MS #2:
But this isn't forever,
It's just 'til my evil plan
Comes into flower.
MS #1:
No, this isn't forever,
Just until the whole planet
Quakes under my power...
He'll be my consort when the world is mine.
MS #2:
When I crush the weak, she'll be my concubine.
MS #1:
And maybe then he'll see
MS #2:
Then maybe I'll reveal
MS #1:
How things were meant to be,
BOTH:
And how I really feel!
BOTH:
Another mad science love song,
MINIONS:
(Shoo-wop-wop, ooo, shoo-wop-wop.)
MS #1:
No man's an island alone,
MS #2:
Although I call one home,
BOTH:
Now I've been waiting for so long,
MINIONS:
(Shoo-wop-wop, ooo, shoo-wop-wop.)
MS #2:
Baby, are you still mine?
MS #1:
Will things be different this time?
MINION #2:
So you still love her?
MS #2:
Some things never die.
MINION #1:
Can't you forget him?
MS #1:
I can't even try!
BOTH:
He/she was the love of my life,
It all seemed meant to be,
And to think that we met
At University!
BOTH:
Another mad science love song!
MINIONS:
(Shoo-wop-wop, ooo, shoo-wop-wop.)
BOTH:
My IQ breaks the charts,
And still he/she broke my heart!
MINIONS:
(Oh-oh-oh...)
BOTH:
Another mad science love song!
MINIONS:
(Shoo-wop-wop, ooo, shoo-wop-wop.)
BOTH:
We made a perfect pair,
It was a crazy affair, oh-oh-oh...
MS #1:
Another mad science love song...
MS #2:
And she may never know
MS #1:
The way I miss him so.
MS #2:
Another mad science love song...
MS #1:
We were the perfect pair,
MS #2:
It was just meant to be,
And to think that we met
BOTH:
At University,
ALL:
Oh-oh-oh.
MS #2 (sigh):
Come on, Igor. We've got work to do.
MINION #2:
Yes, Master.
ALL:
Oh-oh-oh-oh.
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