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Schaffer the Darklord

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Schaffer the Darklord

The Rhyme of Lord Nordak

Once upon a time before dinosaurs comes a true story,
the part of the planet that's now known as Norway,
a peace-loving giant, well known in the region,
They called him Lord Nordak, the twelve foot Norwegian.

Now Nordak he'd been a warlord back before
but the war had made Nordak a warrior no more
he was strictly victorious in saving the land
A prayer he became in the heart of each man

Now Nordak knew that he had been in their plans
But he knew that people could not understand.
So when came the hour he turned on the power,
Marched out to the mountains to lounge and grow flowers

Each Morning Nordak would rise and go forage
check out in the forest, the place of his origin,
a million millennia before dinosaurs and
looked kinda like Oregon but more enormous and
this is where he grew the food that he could
and smoked magical bushes from hollow redwoods
He bathed out in lakes and slept under stars
Kept dragons as pets and kept thoughts after Mars

Lord Nordak lived his life in nothing but peace
but life down in the valley was different indeed
The once unified people had begun bickering
Flame on the candle, like peace had been flickering
and again they split off into two separate factions
and used their different set of soldiers for action
A war in the land we'll know once again
the deathly felt ?? soldier ??

and the elders from when the people had been one
declared that something urgent had to be done
'Send for lord Nordak, he fought these before
with his help we elders shall win the war'

So they gathered their sons and their daughters and armed them
and sent them to find Nordak, off they all sought him,
they climbed up the mountain and jumped crossed lakes
and slaughtered his eight-legged off super stakes
they took their ten days -so they took some wrong turns-
but they found Lord Nordak in woods full of ferns

The offspring of elders awoke him and spoke and
they told him of how the great peace had been broken
and enamored that he join them to return the order
they'd be victorious, Nordak just snorted
and sucked the hill bush that he would smoke;
extinguished it quickly and exhaled and he spoke
'if you keep fighting then no one will win
If i help you succeed, it will just start again
the victor says greed and then fights to get more!
Nordak wants nothing to do with your war!'

but the offspring of elders, shocked by what they heard,
grew angry at Nordak's soft spoken words,
they all drew their swords, held them high in the sky and cried,
'Nordak you will join us or you will die!'

Now, Lord Nordak is often the gentlest of beasts
but these words displeased to say the very least,
he rose to his feet and stepped into the packs
and held high above, his immense battleaxe!
'Nordak will not go so in as declared!'
and the offspring of elders went running off scared
but they didn't run far, just off out of sight
and waited for Nordak to bed for the night

then they crept out without making a noise
and dusted the bush of his with magic poison
and off they did dash and wait until next morning
and rise again when they heard Nordak stop snoring

and watch as he had his first smoke of the day
the bush with the poison Lord Nordak puffed away
immediately he fell under its spell
his muscles all froze and lord Nordak fell

the offspring of elders all appeared in cackles
and tied up the comatose Nordak in shackles
and caged him, they planned to enslave him and take him
out to the front lines where war was raging
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the elders were pleased as they shook their long beards
and said 'Nordak's on our side, we'll show them to fear'
and grinning smugly they waited in their castle
while thousands and thousands died down in the battle

and all of the leaders of the other tribes
were up in their castles watching from inside
as they whined to the hollowed out skulls of their soldiers
into much longer into much golder

well far out beyond there no doubt in the battlefield
feel bodies of men and shrapnel of shattered steel
littered the land bleed through the ground
arrows went whizzing past, soldiers went down

rats eat from bodies riddled with holes
men were beheaded, impaled upon poles

one thing the elders agreed was this war
was far more horrible than the one long before

but they knew they would win it on this very night
as they signaled to send Nordak out to the fight
the soldiers rolled out the cage in which they kept him
and laughed as they ?? weapon

and sprinkled some anti-magic dust inside
then unlocked his chains and all stepped aside
and Nordak awoke and he stood and he stretched
a bit dizzy he still felt the poisons effects

all of the soldiers were still in their places
as fear and befuddlement showed on their faces
they stared at lord Nordak afraid and confused
they saw as he came to he wasn't amused
never the less they attacked all the harder then
and Nordak in-facing just frowned down on all of them

felt as their arrows broke at his knees,
Lord Nordak's going back to the trees

the soldiers kept fighting
thought Nordak was hiding
in fact what he was doing was just deciding
to finally put an end to all this war
and he crept to the outskirts as it began pouring

then found out each castle where each leader slept
then into each palace he quietly crept
he captured each leader before they could run
plucked off their heads, every last one

the elders, the offspring of elders were gone
and Nordak crept out as the war carried on
he ran from each village, and into each home
and gathered the families, the sick, the alone

the kids, the elderly, and all of their animals
rushed them all past the soldiers and their battles full
up to the mountain his peaceful oasis
and wept as he saw the joy on their faces

he offered them blankets and bread, soup and wine,
with medicines to help the injured feel fine
and they watched down below the last hours of killing
cause a war with no leaders becomes just silly

all rose with dawn
smoke ? gone
they vowed and then vowed to never be so reckless
and Nordak awoke and said, 'let's make me breakfast'
they took and they ate and they drank and they sung
and smoked from the bushes when they all were done

and they all lived in peace for the rest of their days
living their lives in the finest of ways
in the earths core Nordak buried his hatchets
which is why to this day Earth still has gravity
then came the comets, then dinosaurs
and then more comets and then ascended more wars
the end

  1. 感謝 īarrin 修正歌詞