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Adam Sandler
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Toll Booth Willie
[Car approaches]
Toll Booth Willie：'Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.'
M1: 'Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!'
M1: 'Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!'
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right
outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!'
[Another car approaches]
M2: 'Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?'
M2: 'Oh, great, great. How much?'
Toll Booth Willie: 'The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.'
M2: 'That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the
quarters directly up your fat ass!?'
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk
yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger! Whadya think of
that ass fuck!?'
[Another car approaches]
F1: 'Hi Willie.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?'
F1: 'Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the
best with directions.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Well I know my way around New England. I can tell ya
that much. So where ya headed?'
F1: 'Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive
up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin'
prick.'
[Drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: 'You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the
fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the
fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!'
[Another car approaches]
M3: 'Hey Willie.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Hey, how are ya?'
M3: 'Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.'
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Dah, you fuckin' prick! I hope you choke on a
fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!'
[Another car approaches]
Bishop Nelson: 'Hello Willie. Good to see you.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya. That was quite
a sermon you had the other day.'
Bishop Nelson: 'Hey, well I do my best.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.'
Bishop Nelson: 'Dollar twenty-five, Willie. Isn't that the same price
your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?'
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush! It's not
my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!'
[Another car approaches]
M5: 'Hey!'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Well hey!'
M5: 'Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters
directly up your fat ass!?'
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Well, I already heard that one you fuckin'
unoriginal bastard! Go suck a
corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!'
[Another car approaches]
F2: 'Hi.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Oh, hi. How are ya?'
F2: 'Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?'
Toll Booth Willie: 'For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five.'
F2: 'Here ya go.'
[Pays toll]
F2: 'Thank you.'
[Begins to drive off]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with
that?'
F2: 'Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.'
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
Toll Booth Willie: 'And here ya are.'
F2: 'Umm, do you think you could sign it?'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Oh, uh.. sign it?'
F2: 'Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?'
[Signing receipt]
F2: 'Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest
fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand.'
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck
you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin'
mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!' [Opens
the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
Toll Booth Willie: 'Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!'
M6: 'Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!'
M7: 'Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over
a dried up stinky dick licker.'
Toll Booth Willie: 'Why you fuckin' pricks. I fuckin' hear every fuckin'
word yer saying!
When this fuckin' leg heals, I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin'
assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
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