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Sage Francis
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Threewrite
This is to the intertwined souls
The hands I've been trying to hold
And this is to the love that I lost and all the troubling thoughts
Of how I got double crossed
And this is to the divorce I was forced to settle with
And the remorse I fought off with metal fists
And this is to the wet, watery kiss I left you with
On your porch as I watched your trembling lips
This is to the memory of our early years
The first girl I shared feelings with
And it's the realest thing I'd experienced in my short existence
I ain't afraid to admit it 'cause love is one of the things
That doesn't come with an age limit, now does it?
In fact I'm gonna have to say that I'm more keen to feel such things
Hopeful dreams I'd lost in a smokescreen
Of meaningless fucking, touching without touching
Candles in the dark, casting shadows on our parent's battles
This is for the romantics at heart
It wasn't too long before I held you more than my pen
When I wasn't writing songs, that went something like
'Forever and always, whenever those songs play'
I remember empty hallways
Or your image that descended from the top floor became an echo
I paid the price for those haunting and couldn't afford to let go
From a passive debt, I'm past regret, did you know
I dreamt about you before we met?
Remembering our first kiss and it hadn't even happened yet
Recollecting your scent that I wasn't even given the chance to forget
I guess that's the magic of it, now every rehashed subject's
Displaying what I wrote on cafe napkins to the public
To get it over and done with, closure hath cometh
Shoulders have plummeted from holding these buckets
Hold your laughs till I go back to the tunnels of Paris
Where I wrote half of these paragraphs but fuck it
This is to my ten year story, in another decade
You'd better be better prepared for me
In the first four years, you were all ears then for the next six
You left me for the next ex and went deaf to my message
So that began my affair with the world abroad
Behind the curtain with the other hurtful girls I explored
Until I became the monster, turned into the words that I record
Pardon me, if you've heard it all before
'I didn't shake you to hurt you'
When you landed on the floor in a room of naked virtues
I closed my eyes to cancel what I saw
Your hand made the first move to the handle of the drawer
Where the frail girl couldn't think to live
'I didn't shake you to hurt you'
I never planned it before, I can't shake off your perfume
Can't wash my hands no more
And I'm breaking my curfew but I can't walk
I'm standing at the door
I hear the wailing of a little kid and the failure of innocence
His compromise, eying the side of the kitchen sink
What did you think? I just let you cut you, cut me?
Cut the bullshit
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Damn, I love the hugs enough to tolerate
The way we made each other crazy
Making it so tough to operate productively
My self esteem didn't help when I felt ugly
And I figured that's the reason why you wouldn't trust me
My ego does bleed, I shouldn't have let you test it
And let your arms free to follow up with your domestic slip up
Love is a battlefield, so lick your shots quick
While I lick my wounds and then resume as an obvious target
Infatuations with the past protect my Purple Heart
With a faded picture I had in my shirt pocket
I'm going out with a bang, in a blaze of glory holes
The anti hero and I don't care how many ways the story's told
Just be careful when these doolies play like drums
And be careful what you say because my Uzi weighs a tongue
This is to the sleepless evenings that I spent next to gravestones
Hoping someone from beyond would grab my arm and take me home
I hadn't accepted I'd have to make it alone
After feeding everything I had into a payphone
And this is to the rain, I felt like it was made of spit
My parade was an unbreakable chain of Gabe's trumpets
Save the buckets even though they weighed down my walking
You don't know the height of the steak you place your fork in
'You look old', that's what you said
'I feel old', that's what I said
I've been through a lot since you've been gone, dead, born again
Torn to shreds over girls who were porcelain
The crybaby dolls, when we were allowed to talk again
I stopped accepting break up calls, that ring true
I hate the way I fall for everything you do, our fate is flawed
That's why I make these break up songs to sing to you
Music is my only psychiatric drug
And if you were a pill in human form
I'd like to hide under my tongue
Kiss the foot that couldn't fit into the slipper of my mouth
The denizen in your house begging for the benefit of your doubts
When I got kicked out, I played the faithful puppy dog
Loyal to the love I lost, sitting at your fucking door in utter disbelief
I sucked all of the skin off of my teeth, you pulled away
And let me choke on your invisible leash
You can find me hiding these screams behind my eyelids
She blinded me
(She blinded me)
With silence
So my airmail lips blew her a farewell kiss
Slinking over the sink, where all the hair gel drips
Stairwells dip deep into her mouth where I found a cycle
And ever since then I've been on a downward spiral
This round is final and it's time to recover
Because it's a porch that some dogs choose to die under
The first song was a breakdown, I apologize in round two
This version, I'm certain, this shit ain't even about you
It's the threewrite
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