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The Back Upon Which Jezza Jumped
'In the 1970 Grand Final. One the greatest marks ever taken in the history of VFL football was achieved by Mr. Alex Jesaulenko. This is a song about the man he took it over, Mr. Graeme 'Jerker' Jenkins.'
The back upon which Jezza jumped and rode into the ground,
The humiliated vertebrae that mighty mark crushed down,
The pathetic platform from which Jesaulenko leaped into the sky,
That ladder to immortality is finally laid down to die.
Yes, Giant 'Jerker' Jenkins, the man that stood his ground,
That took the pain that gave others fame is six foot underground.
Jolly giant Jerker Jenkins, Jesaulenko's dupe.
All he got out of that magic mark was a tendency to stoop.
Did he hear the thundering footsteps on that fateful day?
As he looked up at that Sherrin, did he know he'd have no say,
As Jezza jumped to fame and glory with one almighty leap
And he was left to be forgotten in a crumpled heap?
Is Jerker... is Jerker, Jerker dead?
Is Jerker... is Jerker, Jerker dead?
And so all you men of a small ability and mediocre skill,
All those of you who in the race of life are left standing still,
Those who must always know others are unquestionably better
The second class, the also-ran, the unsucessful go-getter,
The minor-leaguers, the average markers, the consistent second-raters,
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The stay-at-homers, the timid loners, the habitual masturbators,
The ugly girls, the amputees, the screaming mongoloids,
The senile old, the deformed young, the bladders that unwillingly void,
The cancer ridden, the AIDS victim, the plastic surgery disaster,
The fake bowel, the anguished howl as the psychopath shafts ya,
The violated, the child rapist,
The jerkoff artists, the intensely hated,
The disaster fated, the involuntary farters.
All of you huge race of men, with mind or body dismembered,
Never forget the name of the man who will never be remembered
And be warned all of you with hopes of happiness you pathetically nurture,
Lest you forget the back upon which Jezza jumped
The giant Graeme 'Jerker'.
Is Jerker... is Jerker, Jerker dead?
Is Jerker... is Jerker, Jerker dead?
Is Jerker... is Jerker, Jerker dead?
Is Jerker... is Jerker, Jerker dead?
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