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DC3
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If
If I'd been to a private school
I wouldn't be such a bore
If I'd been to a private school
I'd take risks and once more I'd choose to be poor
I'd know where the scene is cooking
And I'd arrive without a booking
I'd be urbane, cerebral, much better looking
I'd reject conformity from my garret in Berlin
And my beats would be fat, my girlfriend thin
Everything'd be cool
If I'd been to a private school
I'd totally rule
If I'd been to a private school
If I'd been to a private school
I'd spend a year in a crack den, non compos mentis
If I'd been to a private school
I'd get into smack, then have my own personal dentist
My photographic exhibition would be called 'The Devil's Cache'
It would spell 'Barosian Hell' with an 'aitch', not a H
I'd go down well at Cannes with my film about poverty in Manila
I'd live in a shanty town near our family villa.
I'd hang with my separatist lesbian friend with piercings in her labia
She's had a thing for me since the Year 12 formal at Xavier
We'd have a child go running wild on the mean streets of New York
You can eat out of dumpsters but still know how to hold your fork
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Everything'd be cool
If I'd been to a private school
I'd totally rule
If I'd been to a private school
I'd join a cabal in Kabul
I'd live on gruel in Istanbul
Shoot a man in a pistol duel
Be a drug mule for a guy called Raoul
I wouldn't use my 12 inches as rule
But sooner or later, ladies, you'll be begging me to clean your pool
If I'd been to a private school
If I'd been to a private school
I wouldn't care about petrol
Or obsess about the interest rate
I wouldn't live in a suburban box with sport as my opiate
If I'd been to a private school
I wouldn't be like you
Your life's a plague, I'm L'Etranger
I read that in Camus
If I'd been to a private school, I'd be impetuous, spontaneous
If I'd been to a private school, I'd ignore domestic bliss
If I'd been to a private school, I'd be beautiful and dangerous!
Hang on. I did go to a private school. How come I ended up like this?
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