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Various Artists
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Take Me Or Leave Me (Any Location And Joanne's Lof
MARK
Valentine's Day...Pan across the empty lot. Roger's down at Mimi's,
where he's been for almost two months now -- although he keeps
talking about selling his guitar and heading out of town...Still jealous of
Benny... God knows where Collins and Angel are...Could be that new
Shanty Town near the river or a suite at the Plaza...Maureen and
Joanne are rehearsing...
JOANNE
I said once more from the top !
MAUREEN
I said no!
MARK
That is, if they're speaking this week. Me? I'm here. Nowhere.
(Lights up on the scene.)
JOANNE
The line is 'Cyber Arts and its corporate sponsor, Grey
Communications, would like to mitigate the Christmas Eve riots.' What
is so difficult about that?
MAUREEN
It just doesn't roll off my tongue. I like my version!
JOANNE
You -- dressed as a ground hog. To protest the ground breaking!
MAUREEN
It's a metaphor!
JOANNE
Well, it's less than brilliant!
MAUREEN
That's it, Ms. Ivy League!
JOANNE
What?!
MAUREEN
Ever since New Year's, I haven't said boo. I let you direct, I didn't
pierce my nipples because it grossed you out! I didn't sta and dance at
the Clit Club that night, 'cause you wanted to go home...
JOANNE
You were flirting with the woman in rubber!
MAUREEN
That's what this is about!? There will always be women in rubber,
flirting with me... Gimme a break.
Every single day
I walk down the street
I hear people say,
'Baby's so sweet'
Ever since puberty
Everybody stares at me
Boys - girls
I can't can't help it baby
So be kind
Don't lose your mind
Just remember that I'm your baby
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby or leave me
A tiger in a cage
Can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage
Baby - let's have fun!
You are the one I choose
Folks'd kill to fill your shoes
You love the limelight too, baby
So be mine
Or don't waste my time
Cryin' -- 'Honeybear -- are you still my baby?'
Take me for what I am
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Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
No way -- can I be what I'm not
But hey -- don't you want your girl hot!
Don't fight -- don't lose your head
Cause every night -- who's in your bed?
Who's in your bed, baby?
(Pouts in JOANNE's direction)
Kiss, Pookie.
JOANNE
It won't work.
I look before I leap
I love margins and discipline
I make lists in my sleep
Baby what's my sin?
Never quit -- I follow through
I hate mess -- but I love you
What to do
With my impromptu baby?
So be wise
This girl satisfies
You've got a prize
But don't compromise
You're one lucky baby
Take me for what I am
MAUREEN
A control freak
JOANNE
Who I was meant to be
MAUREEN
A snob -- yet over-attentive
JOANNE
And if you give a damn
MAUREEN
A lovable, droll geek
JOANNE
Take me baby or leave me
MAUREEN
And anal retentive
BOTH
That's it!
JOANNE
The straw that breaks my back
BOTH
I quit
JOANNE
Unless you take it back
BOTH
Women
MAUREEN
What is it about them?
BOTH
Can't live --
With them --
Or without them!
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby
Or leave me
Guess I'm leavin'
I'm gone!
(They both sit.)
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