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Lo-Ruhamah
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The Corridor
But the light from the holy response is too bright
and I will not see my own glory eclipsed
nor my shame come into visible spectrum
nor acknowledge my monstrosity as having been witnessed.
I AM NOT.
Who are You to reveal this truth of myself?
Did You not put this pit before me?
Anyone but I am guilty.
Oh, how I long for You in the pit of my soul,
but my mouth fills with bile
in the glory of Your presence.
Yes, my hands still clench the fetish
that I fashioned from amorous matter
into my own refection
in the midst of internal darkness.
You see it.
And I can see the corridor before me
extending away,
my own life fading
and love abandoned.
But no, no, no!
I will not.
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Reject that thought.
Not Your way.
I close my eyes and grind my teeth.
When I look again,
let the sight be gone
and my own kingdom coming.
Let only internal projections
be reflected in the faces
and the objects I see before me.
I AM GOD.
NAUGHT ELSE IS.
Remove all greatness
so the small can be great.
Blind all eyes
so they think I am king.
Block out light;
let my impotence be hidden.
Destroy all minds
so the fool seems a sage.
Spread false hope
that allegiance is rewarded.
Magnify my weakness
until it breeds fear.
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