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Ambivalence



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Ambivalence

Escape From Oneself

I see with a splinter of an artificial eye
The shadows of the leaving people,
That I trusted not long ago.
I rush about on the corridor
Of the cluttered consciousness
And look for exit from madness,
Search for myself for a place,
A chink to escape from myself.

I tried to help the drowning friends,
But they just laughed
At the extended hand
And sunk in the swamp.

It is repugnant to bang the head
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Against a wall in hope
That someone will see
The bare surface of pain,
Which has overfilled my mind
And asks to let it out.

I've lost the way.
How to find the exit from
The endless tunnel of uncertainty?
It's so hard to realize one's
Weakness and uselessness.
To drop on bottom with scream
'Please, hold me back!'