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Wreck

I hate everyone I love
for keeping me anchored to this earth
it's in all their god damned support
that I can't leave behind
a happy corpse

with a smile on my face
and a hole in my chest
'cause there was a hole in my heart
that no one could fix

father asks 'why' but please I don't know why mother keeps crying she can't let me go talk going around about being institutionalized cringing in my mind about the thought of being exorcised there's a demon in my brain and he's eating all my joy he's the same spawn of satan that made me the boy I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am

I am

such a fucking wreck

and I'm sort of scared
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I'm 19 years old
already dead-set on being alone

so give me my klonopin
and leave me alone
or god come about
and let me leave home

'cause I hate myself
for being self-involved
and I love myself
for being better than all
with my nose in the air
I can truly say
you would miss me too much
if I were gone