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Paul And Storm
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Thanksgiving
As this time of year comes 'round again
I find myself reflecting on all the things for which I'm grateful
Like my family and friendships
and the fact my life is relatively free from pain and tragedy
There's so much I am thankful for but still
If there's someone or something out there responsible for all of this
and listening to me thank them
then I ask you Sir or Madam
will you kindly tell George Lucas to stop screwing with our trilogy
And on behalf of all of us say,
'George ... please fucking stop.'
I am thankful for the Firefly crew
especially for Kaylee
And I am thankful I won't live to see the rise of the machines
And I'm thankful that Joss Whedon is directing the Avengers
And speaking of directors
Hey there, George
A movie is a snapshot of the era it was made in
Like a painting or a photograph
And we won't go back to change them if Avengers ends up sucking
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We'll just shrug and then we'll go make something new
So fucking stop
Everybody knows Darth Vader didn't say a goddamn word
when he threw the Emperor down the Death Star two's reactor shaft
And everybody knows that Greedo never even fired
when Han shoots first it sets up his entire moral journey
Plus it's cool
I know that in the scheme of things it's just a first world problem
and there's many more important issues
even so I'm asking you
that if you're not too busy with the problems of the universe
And if you have a moment I would sure appreciate
if you drop in on Mr Lucas, maybe grab him by his neckbeard
and vigorously shake him and say, 'George it's very simple
Just release the goddamn blu-ray with the versions we remember
Then shut up and take our money and then please ...
please fucking stop.'
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