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Meishi Smile
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Dysphoria
the way she can't live
it's in her face
i want to promise
let it go away this time
let things feel real
so i do not feel
the weight of growing distant
i wish i grew up to speak the way you do
feeling things i wish were so natural
felt in the way that i am supposed to
i sit and smile until i am your fool
let go of patience
it feels okay to be loud
let go of kindness
and shut it all out now
let go of maybes
and what it means to know truth
maybe i'll find what i need confiding in you
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now you can never sleep
you can never quite see
never quite be
the thing that i want me to be
do you want to hurt so bad?
that you can never forget again
do you want to live like that?
till you can no longer feel it there
do you ever feel it won't end?
that you can never ever hope again
well, it feels so hopeless now
it might as well just all come falling over
words i say they feel numb to me
thoughts i think they cannot make me move
i wonder what it's like to even feel pain
it's all over but the crying
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