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Garfunkel and Oates
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This Party Just Took a Turn for the Douche (Early Mix)
[Verse 1]
[Garfunkel]：
We roll into the bar cause thats how we do
Garfunkel, (Oates) and the rest of the crew
Give a dollar to my homegirl and watch that bitch go she
(Hits up the juke box and puts on Jim Croce
Operator, can you help me make this call?)
[Oates]:
We're laughing and talking and the drinks are flowing
Im the liking the direction this night is going
But then I look up and something has changed
Everyone around us looks fucking deranged
[Garfunkel]:
I look to my left, I look to my right
Nothing but Von Dutch hats in sight
With supertight abs and supertan skin
I swear this ain't the club that I walked in
[Oates]:
Then the techno music starts to play
And the room smells like Axe body spray
I'm like Golda Mier with no gold in my ear
Please tell me what the hell happened here
[Garfunkel & Oates]:
Yo it ain't pretty but you know its the truth
This party just took a turn for the douche
[Hook]
For the douche, for the douche
For the motherfuckin douche
Thought it was a perfect party
Now its just a lot of Ed Hardy
This party just took a turn for the douche
[Verse 2]
[Oates]:
I guess I can't beat em so Im gonna join em
Need some douche phrases and Im gonna coin em
Put my Bluetooth in and Im on my way
Gonna be a mother fuckin douchebag today
[Garfunkel]:
Gonna groom my beard like a bonsai tree
Wax off my chest like Mr Miyagi
Get a Chinese tat, dont know what it means
But it makes me look deep to girls in their teens
[Oates]:
Dont need sleeves on my shirt, just rip em off
And leave em exposed like Bernie Madoff
Fake tan so brown you can call me Foxy
Gonna pop my collar like Limbaugh pops oxy
[Garfunkel]:
Got more chains than Mr. T
I pity the fuckwad who messes with me
Cause Im doin roids til my balls get teeny
Like Dennis Quaid in Innerspace, up inside the weenie
[Oates]:
Gettin crunk on brewskis with my broskis
Im cooler than Ice cube wearing snow skis
Sweeter than the life of Zach and Cody
Higher than the voice of Truman Capote
[Garfunkel & Oates]:
Yeah Ill drop a G for a bottle of Goose
This party just took a turn for the douche
[Hook]:
[Verse 3]:
[Garfunkel]:
We're an army in the night like Norman Mailer
And its time to be a tool like my name is Tim Taylor
Im a VIP cause my table said so
I'm a use some Rufees cause the skank said no (EW!)
I like my hair like I like my girls drink
SPIKED as fuck!!!
[Oates]:
Did my last keg stand like General Custer
And Im assessin' the damage like a claims adjuster
I ain't your Daddy but I'll call you 'son'
Yeah I get metaphysical like fuckin' John Donne
[Garfunkel]:
I'm holdin up the beats like I was Lloyd Dobbler
Girls are on the dance floor shakin their cobbler
I'm Cool like LL, fly like Jeff Goldblum
I'm gonna find the biggest ho in this room
[Oates]:
Girl's wax is Brazilian, her manicure's French
Jean Nate is her signature stench
She got rocks on her fingers and beneath her areolas
Her garden's more savage then ch-ch-cherry colas
[Garfunkel]:
Her heels are as clear as my intentions to bang her
Hope shes birth controlled like Margaret Sanger
Gonna Boner Stabbone her, Mike Seaver her Beaver
Take her gold for cash then mother fuckin' leave her
[Garfunkel & Oates]:
I ain't in love with you, cousin; I ain't George Michael Bluth!
This party just took a turn for the douche
[Hook]
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