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Family Guy



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Family Guy

T.V. Medley

Stewie:Now the world don't move
To the beat of just one drum.
What might be right for you.
May not be right for some.
Brian:A man is born,
He's a man of means.
Then along come two.
They've got nothing but their jeans.
Stewie: But Brian, They've got Different Strokes
It takes Different Strokes
It takes Different Strokes to move the world.
Brian: That's true, but you know, Stewie,
Everybody's got a special kind of story
Stewie: Everybody finds a way to shine.
Brian: But no matter that you got not a lot.
Stewie: So what?
Brian: They'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.
Brian and Stewie: And together we'll be fine.
Stewie: 'Cause it takes Different Strokes to move the world.
Brian: Yes it does.
Stewie: It takes Different Strokes to move the world.
{Applause}
Stewie: Hey, hey, why the frown, Brian?
Brian: Ah, I finished my drink.
Stewie: Oh, no.
Brian: Yeah it's empty, that always gets me depressed.
Stewie: Oh come on, Brian, why don't you
Show me that smile again
Brian: Oh, I don't know.
Stewie: Don't waste another minute on your crying.
Brian: Mmm...
Stewie: We're nowhere near the end.
Brian: That sucks.
Stewie: The best is ready to begin. Ooo-ooo-ooo-oooh!
Brian: As long as we got each other
Stewie: Right you are.
Brian: We got the world spinning right in our hands.
Baby you and me
Stewie: We've got to be...
Brian and Stewie: The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'.
As long as we keep on giving.
Stewie: We can take any crap that comes our way.
Brian: Baby rain or shine
Stewie: All the time
Brian and Stewie: We got each other
Sharin' the laughter
And love.
{Applause}
Stewie: I say, Brian.
Brian: Huh?
Stewie: Who's that over there?
Brian: Where?
Stewie: There!
Brian: Why Stewie, that's
The new boy in the neighborhood
Lives downstairs and it's-
Stewie: I know it's understood. He's there just to take good care of me
Like he's one of the family.
Brian: Charles in Charge of our days and our nights.
Stewie: Yes indeed it's
Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights.
Brian: I have a feeling the wrongs are gonna cause more trouble than the rights.
Stewie: Look out, Sitcom Land - there's a new shipment of funny on its way!
Brian and Stewie: And I say I want Charles in Charge of me.
{Applause}
Stewie: You know, I'm gonna take things down a notch here. Brian, do you remember when we did our first musical number from 'Road to Rhode Island'?
Brian: I sure do. God, we were so young then.
Stewie: Yes, I mean not that we've aged all that much. I mean Jesus, I've been one year old for five years. And my point is this:
Here we are, face to face
A couple of Silver Spoons
Brian: We're hoping to find
We're two of a kind
Makin' it go, making it grow together
We're gonna find our way.
Stewie: You and I together
Taking the time each day.
Brian: You know Stewie, that's time well spent.
To learn all about those things you just can't buy.
Brian and Stewie: Two Silver Spoons together.
Brian: Together, we're gonna find our way.
Together, we're gonna find our way.
Brian and Stewie: You and I together.
{Applause}
Stewie: Oh, you know, this is fun. I say we do a few more of these.
Brian: You say? Hey now, who's the boss around here?
Stewie: Who's the Boss, indeed.
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Brian: Good segue.
There's a time for love and a time for living.
So take a chance and face the wind.
Stewie: An open road and a road that's hidden.
A brand new life around the bend.
Brian: There were times
Stewie: Oh yeah.
Brian: I've lost a dream or two.
Found the trail
Stewie: Sing it, you fuck.
Brian: And at the end was you.
There's a path you take and a path not taken.
The choice is up to you, my friend.
The nights are long
Stewie: Ah, but you might awaken to a brand new life.
Brian: Brand new life.
Brian and Stewie: Brand new life around the bend.
{Applause}
Stewie: Gosh, you know, we sound so bloody good together.
Brian: Well, that's because we know each other so well.
Stewie: Oh, I suppose you're right. Good lord, just think how atrocious we'd sound if we were 'Perfect Strangers.'
Brian: Sometimes the world looks perfect.
Nothing to rearrange.
Stewie: Sometimes you just get a feeling
Like you need some kind of change
Brian: No matter what the odds are this time,
Nothing's gonna stand in my way.
Stewie: This flame in my heart and a long lost friend
Brian and Stewie: Gives every dark street a light to the end
Standing tall
Brian: On the wings of my dreams.
Brian and Stewie: Rise and fall
Stewie: On the wings on my dreams.
Brian: Through rain and thunder and hail and haze
I'm bound for better days.
Stewie: Ahh.
Brian: It's my life and my dream.
Stewie: Nothing's gonna stop me now.
{Applause}
Stewie: I say, was I alright on that last note?
Brian: {Balki impersonation} Well of course you were, don't be ridiculous. {speaking normally} You know Stewie, I sometimes think about what it'll be like when we're old and gray.
Stewie: Hm, well for you that'll be in about five years.
Brian: Thank you for reminding me. But you know, even if my hair falls out or I lose my teeth or I'm in constant pain because colon blockage has made me unable to evacuate my bowels-
Stewie: I-I-I get it, I get it, go on.
Brian: Well when I'm in my golden years, I'll always look back on our association with fondness. I guess what I'm trying to say is
Thank you for being a friend.
Stewie: Don't mention it.
Brian: Traveled down the road and back again.
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante.
Stewie: Brian, I appreciate that.
And if you threw a party
And invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me.
And if the box is ticking, it's probably just a clock.
And the card attached would say
Brian and Stewie: Thank you for being a friend.
{Applause}
Stewie: You know why we're so close, Brian?
Brian: Why's that?
Stewie: Family Ties.
Brian: I bet we've been together
For a million years.
Stewie: And I bet we'll be together
For a million more.
Brian: Ooh, it's like I started breathing
On the night we uh, shook hands.
Stewie: Shook hands, right.
Brian and Stewie: And I can't remember what I ever did before.
What would we do baby, without us?
What would we do baby, without us?
Brian: And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.
Brian and Stewie: What would we do baby, without us?
Sha-la-la-la
{Applause}
Man in audience: I love you, Stewie!
Stewie: Good.
Meg: Ew, Mom, look at Chris.
Lois: What is it, honey?
Meg: He's sweating like a pig!
Chris: Shut up, Meg, it's hot in here!
Lois: Meg, your brother's going through a very normal stage in the life of a teenage boy. His body's changing and sometimes it does some very strange things.
Chris: Mom, make it stop!
Lois: Chris, honey, there's nothing Mommy can do except smile and shake her head like the mommies in the Sunny Delight commercials.
Chris: Oh no, I'm screwed!