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Gavin Castleton



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Gavin Castleton

Recuperation II

It was 1995 when our 17 year old hot rods collided, I was driving a 78 Tercel you were rolling in Sluggo, the station wagon from hell. We stacked our decks into houses - this is how the cards fell:
I tip toed into my senior year at Grant High
I was afraid my feet would grow roots through the tiles
and have me forgetting about my band in Rhode Island
I could've been in love but I didn't want to try.
I could've been above all the parties (which was really more my style) but when you're in a new place you've got to adapt for a while.
It was a match made in Portland, Oregon
You know the story well
but I'm-a tell it again. YO
56th and Halsey, my rhymes were kind of stupid.
We wanted to learn to freestyle, so we passed the mic with the four track run through the family hi fi
Inspired by The Roots, The Coup, Common Sense, and Tribe Called Quest
in fact one of the best times we ever had was a lyrical collaboration in your basement
we wanted to slam a track like the Beastie Boys
when our voices weren't cracking we were still cracking up
cause the track was about the flames we spray painted on my car
and how the clutch was so shot I had to start it on a hill.
I remember every lyric that we wrote together still
and regret we never tag teamed it on the same bill.
but that's not to say we never will -
west coast to east coast Psychologically Thrilled
down at Sandy Lanes we used to chill
used to play pool until midnight
take the underground railroad up the hill
to your parents' house
creep downstairs and rant about gils.
It was ill how we recorded so much music on the four track
learned the basics of producing but I wrote wack
I love that you only hear the laughter when you listen back.
It's that under-critical objectivity that I lack
When I went back to Providence, we kept in touch.
Our bassist quit the band and you flew out to save us in the clutch
brought the gangly honky flavor to the east coast (dude)
stayed at the Bell Hotel
which was fresh until
we moved to that spot up on college hill
so hot all summer but we didn't have to pay a dime
made beats with my first sampler and the four track in the bedroom we shared,
It was the easiest summer of our lives but working 9 to 5 I don't think we cared
my whole world collapsed when you finally quit the band
I turned you down when you asked me to help you drive back
I couldn't see that I was choking you because I only focused on my hands
I've always been sorry for that
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It hurt too much to do the right thing.
It took a while for me to see that you weren't giving up on our dream
you were giving up on mine
It was the healthiest thing for both of us but didn't seem so at the time
in the end our relationship was fine - it survived
a few years later you made your way back to Rhode Island
I'm sorry that I was such a bitch to work with when you needed my help
within all your songs I tried too hard to find myself.
A year later I find myself in your shoes
rocking out to my own songs with everything to prove
I got the destitute blues - cooking ramen in a teapot
glorify the idea of freezing in the name of rock
You pulled me out of the ice like an after school special
backpacking through europe with a clear head in a thick fog of chuckle
you offer beer I counter offer knuckle
I laugh in english while you choke in German
I'm impressed and annoyed at your persistence in learning
and what drives me to bitch
drives you to drink.
I respect half of what you say
but all of what you think.
Nawwww really
I know I'm hard on you for taking your time
and when I'm rushing on your queen
you're slowly taking mine.
so I'm learning that most times
you're winning in the end
breaking my defenses as a passive best friend.
And I'm worried about you, B
taking an easy life so hard
measuring that life to a hero in a book
convinced that you're a cowboy in the wrong time
a protag with all the antagonism you can find.
I hope when you want to relax, you'll play this song.
taylor made to be a 'bad-night-no-play' remedy
buy another beer when you think of me,
and check it: I didn't say one thing about the industry.
but it gets realer: I'm here to listen when you get tired.
signed
'forever inconvincible,
your designated driver.'