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Handsome Boy Modeling School

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Handsome Boy Modeling School

Outro

作词：Gerry Mulligan

Yeah, but sometimes, you see
It's not that easy, you know what I mean?
Not all the cupcakes and Jesus juice
Like you might assume

Yeah, a lot of times, I'll admit it
It's not easy bein' handsome
Bein' a model, bein' a graduate
Even of the Handsome Boy Modeling School

'Cause they, they pick on you, they make you
You know say, ‽You've gotta go on the runway”
Then two minutes later
You have to change and go again

And the restroom is full, yeah, but they, you know you have
Can't get into the restrooms then they say
‽You walk so slow this time, your steps are too tiny”
This what they say, ‽Tiny steps”

Well, yes, tiny steps
You were to walk with your legs crossed together tiny steps
If you couldn't get into the restroom
What do you want, you know? I said, ‽Let me go on last'
If for instance there is some problem, you know, on the stage

If there is, no one will slip on it, is what I'm saying
You know what I mean? So let me go on last
They says, ‽No, you have to, Mr.Zack has to go on last
To take the big bow, you know, like he did something'

You know what I mean? He stole everybody else's clothes designs
Or what? He takes the bow, he slips, it's not my fault
It's, it was so crowded, they couldn't get into the men's room
And I should get paid, it's all I know

Since I've graduated, I, I got to say, I will say nine out of the ten jobs
Are just, you know, just marvelous
Everybody so nice to you, they, they can't treat you better
But every once a while you run into like this jerk
You know, like Mr. Zack, you know

And he slips on the runway and says it's all my fault
When you can't even get in to the restroom
'Cause there's too many people lined up
And they say, ‽You're on the runway next”

Yeah, sometimes it gets to be a little lonely, alone in the hotel room When you just waiting for a show to come up
They, they pick you up at the airport and then they say
‽Just see you in the morning”
Then, they don't even make no plans for you to go some place

And you gotta go there and there's so many people
They give you clothes, half the time they don't even fit
And then, it's just all the jealousy 'cause
You know, if you're handsome and that

And other ones, they, they treat you, you know
Somehow like they're jealous of you
Just 'cause, you know
You're a little more handsome than them

And then they, they eat all of the food
They eat, there's no food left, you know
They say, ‽Jesus juice” very funny, you know
They have the Jesus juice, it's a terrible wine

They just call it to make it sound glamorous or something
And the food stinks usually, this, this junk
You know? Even if you would like to eat
You couldn't eat it

Then they said they gonna pick you up to take you back to the airport
They don't even show, they have they
They, they said, they
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You know ‽The hotel's got the van, you could go”

They said, they would pick me up
What do I do with the van?
And they don't reimburse you, like they say
They say, ‽Well you ate so much” you know, I don't know

I like to and then the catalogs
They don't even send it to you when you done with them
You know, like who wants me anyway, what?
They say they gonna have a hair stylist there

There ain't no hair stylist, you know?
One, maybe, yes, for what, fifty people
You know what I mean?
‽You gotta bring your own scissors too”

They say they have, they misplaced my scissors, what?
Whoever heard of a hair stylist has no scissors?
They say, ‽We just style it, we don't cut it', what?
In Italy they have to cut you know what I mean?

A barber is a what, a hair stylist, it means barber
No, what, you mean, no cut?
Get my own mousse? What? Think I have my own mousse?
I have no mousse

Sometimes, like, if you, if you wet and then your socks get wet
Then you have no other socks with you
You know what I mean?
Turn 'em inside out? No, doesn't work

They say, ‽Change your socks”
Yes, the one for two dollar one? What? I have no, deh, in the hotel room
It's fifty miles from here out near the Boondocks
And they put you next to a place near to Sears, I go to Sears for breakfast

You know, once I was a model for socks
And I thought, you know, this is a good
Modeling for socks
It's good, you don't have to, you know

Get all cleaned up the night before, you know
That's one good thing, you know
You could go unshaved and that
Then they says, ‽Well, you can't do shoes”

I say, ‽What”? They say, ‽No, if you, if you did socks
Then you can't be model for shoes, that's the rule”
Who says this?
Who makes these things up?

That if you're a sock model
You cannot do shoes
You have to, only the shoe models can do shoes
This is just makes me sick

I just, I just turned down a job
They said they were looking for a handkerchief model
I say, ‽I could do it”, they says, ‽What, you left handed or right handed?” I says, ‽Right handed', they says, ‽No, you have to be left handed”

I said I could do it, they says, ‽No, you says you was right handed”
I says, ‽I made a mistake, I'm left handed”
They says, ‽Prove it”
How am I gonna prove this, you know what I mean?

So I take my handkerchief off from my left hand, right?
They said, ‽You didn't do that very smooth”
I say, ‽Okay, lemme try again”
They say, ‽Why do you have to try again? You left handed, you do it”

I said, ‽Just shut up and gimme' the the kleenex
Let me show you with kleenex
I won't ruin another one of my hankies”
Anyway, I'm just, I don't know what that did